Happy first birthday to Amanda's Waning!

My blog is one year old today!  So much has changed since I made my first entry, entitled WLS in 10 days.   For one thing, NO ONE commented on my first post.  I had one comment (from Erika at Dirt Track Diva - love her!) on my second post which is actually a much more interesting post as it is my back-story.

I love blogging and I love all of you who have supported me and helped me over the last year.  I feel like I have a support group of sorts that is available 24/7!  When I've had questions, needed a shoulder to cry on or needed people to celebrate with, you've been here!

I've struggled with food addiction and disordered eating behavior since I was a kid.  I never remember a time when I felt "normal" around food.  At times I've binged, purged, starved, compulsively exercised, dieted, eaten normally, obsessed about what I eat, and been oblivious to what I eat.  I've counted calories, points, fat grams.  I've weighed and measured my food and written down every morsel that went into my mouth.  I've evaluated my self-worth based on a number on the scale, my size of clothes, and the person I saw when I looked in the mirror.  I've felt enormous at 118 lbs. (52.5 kg.).

I don't know why gastric banding "changed" me.  I understand the mechanics of why it helped with the weight loss, but I don't know why the obsession has been relieved to the extent that it has.  It's not perfect, not "normal", but my life is so much better!

Losing 100+ lbs. is great.  Wearing a size 12/medium is great.  Learning to have a more normal relationship with food is INCREDIBLE!