tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58227173859804232352024-02-21T06:07:57.092-08:00Fit For Life!I love to ride my bike and walk my dog. I'm a 42-year-old mother of two. I am committed to a healthy lifestyle, but I also believe MODERATION is really important. I love sugar and coffee and sunshine!Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.comBlogger361125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-68125920520170277632018-12-19T16:45:00.003-08:002018-12-19T16:45:52.578-08:002018 Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I thought that I would pop over to my blog today, probably because I am getting ready to go on vacation for the rest of the year and I don't feel much like working. I found an update that I had started in 2017, but never finished or published. I went ahead and published it just now (although I didn't complete it).<br />
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2018 has been an amazing year! I wrote in the 2017 update that my long-time BF and I had finally split up. I dated two guys last year. Both relationships ran their course. This year I decided to try on-line dating and I went out with four different guys. One I saw three times, one just once, another I saw for about a month and a half, and the last one (the handsome fella above) just asked me to marry him. (Spoiler: I said yes).<br />
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His name is Rick and we have been dating about ten months. He is amazing! He is so kind and generous. He is great with my kids. Like me, he is self-employed. To say that I am in love with him feels like an understatement. I miss him intensely when we're not together. I adore him. He's fantastic in bed and so much fun. We laugh and laugh when we're together. In my 45-years, I have never been in love like this. <br />
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What's funny is that I really was just looking for someone to be my boyfriend. I wanted to go on dates and have a good time. I never expected to fall so hard for someone, not at my age. <br />
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Here are some examples of the amazing things he does: For me birthday, he left little gifts at my house for four days leading up to my birthday. Each one had a note in which he talked about a specific thing that he likes about me. He's also done special things for my kids, and even took them out to dinner to ask them if they would be okay with him being their step-dad. <br />
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On Sunday he'd planned to take me out to dinner. He works a lot of nights and weekends and lately we haven't been able to see each other all that much. We went to one of my favorite restaurants, a fondue place. After a lovely meal and a lively conversation about why Buck Rogers was stupid, he told me that he had an early Christmas gift for me. He pulled out this little book (you may have seen it on Facebook). It is a personalized book of all the things that he loves about me, with cute little cartoon avatars. The book had page after page of all the things he loves about me and ends with, "I guess what I am trying to say is will you marry me?". I looked up from the book and he is holding out an incredible white gold ring with diamonds and sapphires (my favorite stone). It is beautiful! <br />
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We are planning to move in together around February 1st and be married in Spring 2020.<br />
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When I think about how happy I am, it makes me shudder to think of the misery that I endured with my ex. I am so glad that I had the courage to finally end things.<br />
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On the weight-front, I am doing very well. I am actually at my lowest (non-sickness) weight. I weighed 161 lbs. (73.03 KG) on Monday. I am 5'8" (172.7 cm) tall. My BMI is 24.5 (normal). I am happy with my appearance and feel very comfortable with my size. <br />
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I am exercising like a fiend, just like always and eating around 1,500 calories a day. I continue to use MFP to track my calories. It is pretty easy to keep things under control at this point in my recovery (I am almost nine years out from WLS).<br />
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So, I think that's it for this update! Happy holidays! <br />
<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-35666073553170708112018-12-19T16:11:00.000-08:002018-12-19T16:13:08.641-08:002017 Update2017 has been a year of transition. So many things have changed for me, things that I had been hoping for for years and years, but couldn't make happen. Until I could.<br />
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The biggest transition has been that my long-term boyfriend and I have split up. We broke up around Easter and he moved out in early June. Those two months were really hard. I spent my free time reading the Harry Potter books for the umpteenth time so I could be distracted from how miserable it was having him in my home. We were together for the better part of 18 years. We were married for seven years. We have two daughters.<br />
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A couple of months after he moved out, I started dating a guy I'll call Jay. Then I started dating another guy I'll call Texas. I can't remember ever having previously dated more than one guy at a time, but since August I have been seeing two guys.<br />
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Both Jay and Texas are very nice. <br />
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(Edit: I just found this in my drafts and thought I would publish it. It was written October 2017, more than a year ago. I am going to write a 2018 update shortly). Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-47851773818245314842016-03-24T16:54:00.001-07:002016-03-24T16:54:47.519-07:00Saving Uncle WillI'm going to depart from my usual blog format here to tell the story of my Uncle Will. <br />
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Uncle Will has been homeless for the last decade or so. The reasons are the usual ones - depression, bad decisions, drugs, bad luck. They don't really matter that much. <br />
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Uncle Will was a teenager when I was a little girl. There is something about an uncle that is still a kid during the years when you were a kid. He was doing cool teenage boy things. Sometimes he and his friends would play with my sister and I. One of their favorite games was to hog-tie (that's what they called it) us to a chair or hog-tie each other to a chair and see if they could escape. I remember it as being really fun. I'm sure I was just thrilled to be included. I also remember them taking me to "ice skate" on frozen mud puddles. <br />
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Uncle Will pretty much always lived with my grandma. He never moved out and was on his own. He had lots of labor type jobs, including working for my dad for a number of years. When my sister grew up and got married, her husband and Uncle Will were friends. We all sort of ran in the same social group for a time. <br />
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The walls in Uncle Will's bedroom at my grandma's house were elaborately painted with murals of dragons and monsters. He also had lots and lots of cats and kittens. <br />
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My grandma's husband (Virgil) was awful to Will. He called him names and made snotty asides about him under his breath. He mostly complained about Will being lazy and smoking pot. He usually made those comments as he refilled his glass of booze at 11:00 in the morning before going to hang out with the neighbor all day. I guess the irony of Virgil mooching off of my grandma as much as Will mooched off of her was lost on Virgil.<br />
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My grandpa also wasn't always very nice to his son. He didn't like that his ex-wife, my grandma, let Will live at home and didn't force him to work all of the time. Grandpa respected hard-working men who pulled themselves up by their boot-straps. He didn't respect Will all that much, and I suspect he felt that if Will had lived with him after he and Grandma divorced, he could have beat the lazy out of him. I'm sure he tried whenever he had a chance.<br />
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There are "issues" that have glided along in the background of our family. Issues with depression. Issues of inappropriate sexual behavior. Substance abuse. Physical violence. At times Will was both the victim and the perpetrator of these behaviors. <br />
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Will's life was pretty stable while my grandma was alive. She protected him and took care of him. Even when he stole her debit card and drained her checking account. Even when he was arrested. Even when he went to rehab. When Grandma died, everyone decided Will should keep living in her house. It was paid for. All he had to do was cover the utilities and property taxes. The power was off after a few weeks. The house was seized for non-payment of taxes within a few months. Will became homeless.<br />
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At first he lived in his truck and then in a little RV my mom bought him. But he lost both of those to parking fines. He was jailed for vagrancy. My mom moved to Eugene and after a while, Will moved there too. <br />
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Large sums of money came Will's way, but they never stuck around. There was $19,000 when Grandpa died in 2004, then $23,000 in 2007. When he got that last check, he was living in my mom's backyard. He blew through the money in about two months, partying with some homeless friends. My mom actually moved away from that house to make a break from him and his friends. <br />
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A few years ago, Will started living with another man, Mark. They lived in a tent. A short time later, I ran into an old friend who told me that Uncle Will had had a relationship with a different man back in Washington before he'd moved to Eugene.<br />
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Oh.<br />
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This made some sense. Grandpa would have killed, literally put him to death, had he known his son was gay. Virgil wouldn't have handled it much better. Is it any wonder that Will struggled with depression and drugs?<br />
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Will and Mark have gotten by. Someone buys their food stamps so they have money for cigarettes. They have 14 cats at their camp site. <br />
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Last Fall Uncle Will had a stroke. He's 54. He spent some time in the hospital and then they sent him to a nursing home. After a few weeks, he was sent back to the hospital with some alarming symptoms. Lesions all over the place, thrush in his mouth and throat.<br />
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HIV.<br />
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At one point they were talking about putting him on hospice. But Uncle Will rebounded. They started him on anti-viral drugs. The lesions healed. The thrush was treated. He was able to go back to the nursing home. He got better.<br />
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Uncle Will didn't like the nursing home much. I work as a property manager and have worked with the HIV Alliance before and I knew they have programs for rental assistance. We got Will on the program. An apartment opened up that met their criteria. <br />
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Will and Mark moved into their new place last week. Another tenant had left behind some furniture so we put that in there for them. When Will walked through the first time, he had to wipe the tears from his eyes.<br />
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<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-75395284568681411352016-02-22T13:18:00.001-08:002016-02-22T13:18:11.647-08:00Unsocial MediaSo, I've given up Facebook, at least for now. I was on for a few minutes each day on 2/8 & 2/9 and not at all since 2/10. It wasn't hard to give up, actually, but I do miss it (sort of).<br />
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I sit at a desk 90% of my work day so I would typically have Facebook open for perusing all day long. Then in the evening and on weekends, I would check in periodically to see what people were up to. I have a couple hundred friends, mostly relatives and people that I know irl. I have lots of cousins and I really enjoy seeing their pictures and hearing about their lives. We don't really speak on the phone so this is our main connection. I see them once a year or once every few years. <br />
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A few months ago I began feeling really stressed out about politics and social issues that mean a lot to me, but leave me feeling helpless. In December I started unfollowing all of the political sites and many of the pages. Going back several years, I have unfollowed friends and facebook friends who post nasty political things or other things I found offensive. But as the presidential campaign season heats up, I began feeling irritated and stressed out by people whose opinions I generally agree with. They would say nasty, critical things or disparage a candidate in a way I found very offensive, even if I didn't support that particular candidate. Memes went around with nasty images and I just thought ENOUGH! I'm tired of the sexism thinly veiled as political support. I'm tired of the end-of-the-world thinking. Things aren't actually going to hell in a hand basket, and they probably won't, no matter who wins or loses.<br />
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Remember when politics were taboo and practically no one talked about them? I miss those days and I miss my Facebook friends (sort of), but I'm not planning to go back until after the election, if then.<br />
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<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-28701845577188397432016-02-09T12:01:00.000-08:002016-02-09T12:01:00.859-08:00You're doing it wrongMy local newspaper runs a weekly syndicated health column written by a famous TV doctor. I'm not going to name him because I do not wish to give him any publicity. I'm also not going to link the article, but reading it really got me fired up.<br />
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The gist of the article was that the USDA has new dietary guidelines and the author doesn't think they go far enough. Now I don't really have a big opinion on the USDA and its guidelines, but I am tired of reading and hearing ridiculous things about health and fitness. Spoiler alert: whatever you're currently doing and eating, you're doing it wrong.<br />
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Then at the gym, I was thumbing through People magazine while elipticaling and I came across an article where some celebrity I'd never heard of listed everything she ate in a day and then two experts came in and described everything that was wrong with all of the things she was eating. Spoiler alert: all her choices were wrong ("The tofu for lunch? A great choice, unless it's fried." FUCK OFF!).<br />
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The newspaper article by the famous TV doctor said the USDA says we're supposed to eat 2 1/2 cups of veggies and 2 cups of fruits, but famous doc says we should actually cover half of each plate full of food we eat with fruit or vegetables. Not to be nit-picky, but I don't think "half a plate" is a standard unit of measurement. Also, who the hell is doing THAT? Um, nobody. Even the USDA recommendation of NINE servings of fruits and vegetables (I think that's how the 2 1/2 cups + one cup formula works out). Seriously people. Quit suggesting stupid things. No one is consistently eating NINE servings of fruits and vegetables per day. That's ridiculous. <br />
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The article goes on to say that the USDA says eggs are okay, but the TV doc says NOPE! He says we can eat egg whites and egg substitutes, but no yolks and no eggs at all when you also eat pork or read meat that week.. I say TV doc can kiss my ass! Oh. My. God. Didn't we settle this whole good egg/bad egg controversy years ago? <br />
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Next TV doc says that even though the USDA says up to 2,000 mg per day of sodium is okay, HE knows best! He also doesn't say how much he thinks is okay, but if we only eat fresh fruits and vegetables and avoid processed foods, we won't get that much sodium.<br />
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I read the USDA research on this subject recently and apparently there is no upward limit of sodium for most people that causes problems, unless they have high blood pressure or other health issues known to be caused or affected by an excess of sodium. Also, too little sodium can be a real problem for some people (my grandfather was hospitalized for low sodium). Now, I certainly agree that avoiding processed foods is a good thing to do, but why does TV doc feel he needs to arbitrarily create a food rule here? <br />
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Next TV doc takes on the USDA recommendation to limit sugar to 10% or less of a person's daily caloric intake. This is probably the food issue that I have the hardest time with. I love sugar. I eat it every day. I probably eat 20% of my daily calories in various sugars. But let's keep that in perspective. I eat about 1,400 calories a day. 10% of that is only 140 calories. <br />
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I have beat myself up about the sugar issue for a long time, which might be why I got so pissed off about this article. I have come to grips with my diet and here's why:<br />
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* I am not overweight.<br />
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* I am very healthy (all of my numbers are PERFECT - cholesterol, blood sugar, EVERYTHING).<br />
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* I have no medical problems. <br />
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Clearly what I am doing is working for me! So why would I change?<br />
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As long as I can remember, I have doubted myself about practically everything, but especially my food choices. I am beyond tired of living that life! I have internalized so much criticism over my life, but I've also had a few people comment on my food choices in real life. I've had more than one boyfriend say things. I've also heard it from medical professionals. <br />
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But things are different now. Six years ago, I took control of my life. I rejected the messages that I couldn't trust myself with my food choices. I rejected the messages that I couldn't eat whatever I wanted and still be thin. And it is working! So I won't be letting TV doc OR the USDA in my head. I will continue to enjoy my diet of all foods in moderation. <br />
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Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-12201130220266275572016-01-28T15:57:00.001-08:002016-01-28T15:57:13.790-08:00Kicking ass, taking names...Sometimes I write post titles that have very little to do with what I intend to say. This is one of those times. Sadly, I have done no ass kicking, nor name taking.<br />
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But I do feel like I have taken steps to get back to where I want to be. To re-cap, I had surgery last February and was very sick for several weeks. During that time, I lost 20 lbs. I didn't need to lose the weight, but I wasn't sad about it. I maintained the loss after I recovered for about six months, but in about August I started re-gaining.<br />
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I didn't really change anything that I was doing. Maybe it just took that long for my body to heal completely. Between August and a couple of weeks ago, I gained about 16 lbs. <br />
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More than five years ago, I lost 110 lbs. I have maintained that loss for that long, but my weight has fluctuated some in those years. Back when I was obese, I thought that once I got to my goal weight I wouldn't have to worry about my weight again. Since then I have learned that it is something I have to work on every day and I will have to continue to do so for the rest of life. <br />
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The thing that I find especially frustrating is that I have experienced weight gains even though I am doing all the right things. I make good food choices. I use MFP to track my food. I exercise like a mo fo. I drink water. I weigh myself regularly. Back in my obesity days, I would either be following some really rigid diet or I would be eating whatever I wanted without regard for calories, fat, protein, etc. When I went on a diet, it would be easy to make changes because there were lots of things I was doing wrong. But now the tweaks I make are much more subtle. <br />
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I have been eating dessert pretty much every night. I've also been drinking (relatively) high-calorie coffee drinks every work day. My meals have been very good and healthy, but those two areas were clearly becoming a problem. In the last two weeks I have been eating a lower calorie dessert most nights (a tablespoon of cookie butter on a rice cake). I've also been having a protein drink for lunch on the days I'm having coffee so I'm ending the day at 1,200 - 1,300 calories or so. I've lost three pounds. I think I would like to lose three more so that I weigh 160. I've had a few days where I ate more than that (including today), but I am mostly staying around those numbers.Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-33275391861654493592016-01-20T13:16:00.000-08:002016-01-20T13:16:13.042-08:00January BlahsThe weather in Eugene, Oregon is CRAP. Days of rain and cold and wind. It is wet and gross. I haven't seen the sun in weeks. It hasn't been cold enough to snow, except for a light dusting on January 2nd.<br />
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My plan was to win that 1.5 billion power ball jackpot and move somewhere warm and sunny, but THAT didn't happen.<br />
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I continue to exercise outdoors, despite the bad weather. I was looking at my rain pants today and they are covered with dried dirt. I have to wear them pretty much every time I go out. I think I wore them three times (maybe five?) all last year and I haven't started exercising more or anything. Yes, I am complaining that the drought is over. Fucking, el niño.<br />
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I am shaking up my calorie goals again because I just can't seem to get it right.<br />
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And what's up with celebrities dropping dead all over the place? <br />
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I'm already thoroughly over the elections.<br />
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But overall, things are good. <br />
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<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-86709267441695293522015-12-24T13:46:00.001-08:002015-12-24T13:46:01.993-08:00FIVE YEARS (and Merry Christmas!)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPcNQ_ahDGBiel4DdnMZAXTIv6m8nV7Bt63qwDDIZmRvob_EdB9vtnLnhrC5c7TXH4cJzppeCgxQIUlgkF2ShumRgMphv4iNhmYRBuylmqauLog4YHWv2Apy0nIgzD1Ea3ic4ZBQREOAKh/s1600/amandacmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPcNQ_ahDGBiel4DdnMZAXTIv6m8nV7Bt63qwDDIZmRvob_EdB9vtnLnhrC5c7TXH4cJzppeCgxQIUlgkF2ShumRgMphv4iNhmYRBuylmqauLog4YHWv2Apy0nIgzD1Ea3ic4ZBQREOAKh/s320/amandacmas.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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I have been at my goal weight for over FIVE years! <br />
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Although my weight has fluctuated in that time, I can honestly say that I have stuck to my program.<br />
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That doesn't mean that I haven't overeaten at times or that I never make bad food choices, but I always get back to the basics.<br />
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For me the basics are:<br />
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EXERCISE. I move each and every day in some form or another. I walk, ride my bike, work out at the gym or do all three. Every day, unless I am sick. I really enjoy walking and riding my bike. Like REALLY enjoy them. My fella will often ask if I want him to come get me at work because the weather is total CRAP, but I like riding my bike. I put on my rain gear and lights and warm clothes and it really doesn't matter if it is dark or wet or cold.<br />
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Speaking of which, LOOK what I got!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIeh7-dl7K_HMrIKwjq8eOzjbELTy5ZOIcINZhLqB8azDbP2z3ELnGGdOvWpIDHKKbPuA1q-WEPz3s-rw3Fbot3incxz0YiLcKocgdbukbh6Mj_SoEj6mKkaZ8V5ttbNF73d7vMPqzoqlY/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIeh7-dl7K_HMrIKwjq8eOzjbELTy5ZOIcINZhLqB8azDbP2z3ELnGGdOvWpIDHKKbPuA1q-WEPz3s-rw3Fbot3incxz0YiLcKocgdbukbh6Mj_SoEj6mKkaZ8V5ttbNF73d7vMPqzoqlY/s320/001.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
It is a stocking cap with a FREAKING light on it it! I'm so excited!<br />
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FOOD PLAN: I generally log my food on MFP. I have a calorie goal and I try to stick to it. I eat veggies and get some protein down. I eat all foods in moderation. I don't eat traditional diet food (low fat, sugar free). I think the full fat/sugar foods are more satisfying. <br />
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WEIGH: I weigh myself at least once a week.<br />
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That's really about it, actually. I guess I also try to be kind to myself and avoid negative self-talk.<br />
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So, I have been kind of struggling lately, feeling like my body isn't cooperating even though I have been following my food plan carefully. I have kept my calories below 1,500. Still, I have gained about six pounds since August. I am a little frustrated, but I am trying to keep things in perspective. First of all, this is weight I lost when I was so sick after surgery, so maybe I won't get to keep it after all. I have been making some tweaks and in January I will probably stop drinking high-calorie coffee drinks and see if that doesn't take care of it. Still, I am 120 pounds down from my high and that is not a bad thing!<br />
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Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! Happy New Year!<br />
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Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-47805457299714297272015-12-17T09:46:00.003-08:002015-12-17T09:46:49.407-08:00Nonsense. There just isn't a way to string all of my thoughts into meaningful sentences, I'm afraid. So here are some random words that are bouncing around in my brain.<br />
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Fuck. Cheese. Scale. Christmas. Money. Insurance. Anxiety. Arguing. Food. Stupid. Body. Candy. Bonus. Trip. Teenagers. Fella. Ingrates. Ruined. Therapy. Plan. Respect. Anger. Frustration. Apathy. Hate. Coffee. 1,500. Trust. Crazy. How? Overwhelming. Unhappy. Control. Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-88520351298238827562015-11-25T12:53:00.000-08:002015-11-25T12:53:11.581-08:001,200/1,400I have read on a few blogs lately that in order to maintain weight, the writers say they need to eat about 1,400 calories per day and to lose, they eat about 1,200. <br />
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Fuck.<br />
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That seems low.<br />
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Maybe that's why I have been maintaining at 157 and not losing down to 153 or so where I want to be.<br />
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This last week, armed with that information, I have kind of given up in frustration. Not given up in that I am overeating, but given up in that I haven't been trying to lose because I am most certainly eating too much for that.<br />
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I haven't been on the scale in a few days and for some reason now I am afraid to get on.<br />
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Stupid fucking thing.Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-18581861056898384592015-11-05T11:39:00.001-08:002015-11-05T11:39:47.240-08:00Rain or shineIt is raining in Eugene, Oregon (shocker!). Since I do much of my exercise outdoors, this could create an obstacle if I let it.<br />
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My work outs are more ones of frequency than high intensity. I walk every day, usually for about an hour. I go out for 30-60 minutes in the morning and then walk again for 15-30 minutes in the evening, depending on what else I am doing that day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I ride my bike to and from work, which takes about 40 minutes total. One Tuesdays and Fridays I go to the gym. I do 30 minutes of cardio (usually the elliptical) and 20 or so minutes of weight lifting. I often ride my bike on the weekends as well. And of course, there is housework, yard work, shopping, etc. I average the equivalent of 12,000 intentional steps per day. <br />
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I do some sort of exercise each and every day. I may miss a couple of days per year if I am sick or traveling. I am pretty obsessive about it, to be honest. I enjoy cycling and walking my dog very much. Neither of those activities feel like a chore. I do not love going to the gym, but I do it anyway. I have rehabilitated a shoulder injury by lifting weights so I know it is important. <br />
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The right gear is really important to safe and comfortable outdoor work outs. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTlWcN8BKk60uIdTND8F4L7z7uMEQDWZCiFpdw4FnzmjSpt1qaMr9Vtnf8DR-XLFNvzDWAqB9YqcNkekjNDRyE-C0nwoHSiI33t75PQtx30VaE3Fa580Jm-R2kljSfprKBtsC1ZE5qL-0G/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTlWcN8BKk60uIdTND8F4L7z7uMEQDWZCiFpdw4FnzmjSpt1qaMr9Vtnf8DR-XLFNvzDWAqB9YqcNkekjNDRyE-C0nwoHSiI33t75PQtx30VaE3Fa580Jm-R2kljSfprKBtsC1ZE5qL-0G/s320/001.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
This is my bike, which is currently serving as a hanger for my gear in my office. I have Columbia Sportswear rain pants, a helmet, a cool flashy bike light on the front and back and a super-stylish reflective orange safety vest. I wear plain old rubber boots on my feet. You can't see my jacket in the photo, but on a day like today that is both wet and cold, it is a heavy winter jacket. I wear the rain gear when I walk too, but forgo the safety vest and lights.<br />
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It has been dark on my night walks lately and my daughter reminded my of the Woman in Black so now that's all I can think of when I walk in the park.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHoO-4nfNVCrm8yNdRqKztLd_G10Vt1zmBF41dg2WUGl1K92VwjOVrgEnP828hzGY1_PLyD6DrZlDdXJO7i7GcDmtFbMlRlXMogRJ7Xs4z2HAWTw0aQxjMJjFhWqRtkPhrLILlAmcwqkP/s1600/woman+in+black.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHoO-4nfNVCrm8yNdRqKztLd_G10Vt1zmBF41dg2WUGl1K92VwjOVrgEnP828hzGY1_PLyD6DrZlDdXJO7i7GcDmtFbMlRlXMogRJ7Xs4z2HAWTw0aQxjMJjFhWqRtkPhrLILlAmcwqkP/s1600/woman+in+black.jpg" /></a></div>
Have you seen that movie? I watched it because I love Daniel Radcliff, even though I hate horror movies. It is very creepy and this freaky woman appears to children and others who then immediately commit suicide in increasingly horrific ways. They often see her in seemingly innocuous places, like oh, say the bushes in the park on a dark, rainy night. <br />
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So I am mostly just walking around my neighborhood instead. <br />
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Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-42647709934866953512015-11-02T11:13:00.000-08:002015-11-02T11:13:22.251-08:00Frustration!I can back from vacation in August up about three pounds, which seemed about right. Since then I have gained another four pounds or so. September was a tough month and I didn't eat lite, at all. I continued to follow my normal plan of logging my food and exercising, but I was probably eating about 1,600 calories a day on average, which is a little more than I would need to eat to lose.<br />
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All of October was spent really working at it, but at the end of the month, I was still up. I weighed 158 at my last weigh in. <br />
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Usually when I am not satisfied with my weigh in, I can look at my habits and see why. It will be too many high-calorie coffee drinks or too many desserts or something obvious. I just looked at MFP and saw that I was about 600 calories under my goal for the current week, 900 under for the previous week and 1,100 under for the week before that. <br />
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Now, I do know that this time of the year is when I am more likely to gain weight. It has happened before and it usually starts with Summer vacation. The first time, I gained about 15 pounds, the second about six. I'm at seven or eight this time around. This is dangerous ground for me. I feel like my body isn't responding or I am delusional or something. Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-17330357718033374022015-10-30T14:17:00.002-07:002015-10-30T14:17:57.469-07:00Being everything to everyoneI feel as if I have been through the ringer this year. At first it was two major health crises: Lap-band re-positioning (followed by almost two months of sickness) and then it was the cardiac ablation procedure (which wasn't really a big deal, but kind of messed with my head for a while). Then I worked like a crazy fool for five months. Then my tenants put their notice in and I had to dump a bunch of money into renovating my rental property. I also had a job offer across the state, a big fancy vacation and all the stuff I usually deal with: unhappy relationship, teenage daughters' drama, being a small business owner, etc. Also I have gained a few pounds and that sucks. Although I have been doing all the usual stuff to lose them, they don't seem to be going anywhere.<br />
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I have pretty much paid all of the bills associated with my rental property and yesterday the new tenants moved in. It is actually someone I know, so I am feeling pretty good about it, which is important since I live next door. But I emptied most of my savings to do the renovations. This morning I was calculating things out and I was really bummed out by the final tally. <br />
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For some reason, I have been thinking about the coming holidays this week and getting preemptively stressed. We are planning a little trip right after Christmas and I'm just not feeling it. I don't know if I want to travel with my family. I don't know if I can bring all of the Christmas joy to our lives, like I usually do. I don't know what to get my kids for their main gifts. The ideas I have seem too expensive. <br />
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I really want to do some remodeling in my house, where I live. In fact, before my tenants gave their notice, I was thinking I would paint and replace my flooring, which is the same old carpets and vinyl that I had when I moved in eight years ago.<br />
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And I really wanted to take the job and move, but between my tenants moving out and needing to renovate my place, it would just be too expensive to leave town. I just don't have the money. <br />
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It is cold and rainy and damp in Eugene, Oregon and so is my mood.<br />
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When does it get to be MY turn? When does someone give a shit if I have a perfect Christmas or a perfect vacation or a perfect place to live? Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-60195571562322472962015-10-27T16:49:00.004-07:002015-10-27T16:49:52.906-07:00Gym NightI am supposed to go to the gym tonight, although I don't want to. I happily do all sorts of exercise every day, but I don't enjoy the gym work outs much. <br />
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I have to remind myself that lifting weights is very good for me. Among other reasons, I have been able to recover from an annoying and painful shoulder injury by gently working out that area for several months and gradually increasing weight and repetition. A year ago I would have said my shoulder would probably require surgery to function properly, but now it is about 90% of normal and I wouldn't have surgery, even if it were offered. <br />
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Here I am heading to the hotel gym when I traveled for business last month.<br />
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<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-40794167122001300672015-10-16T13:04:00.004-07:002015-10-16T13:04:50.937-07:00Have you ever had an affair?You don't have to answer that. I've been thinking about having an affair. I don't really have anyone in mind. I'm just very lonely.<br />
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My feelings for my current fella (of 16 years) are mainly resentment, to be honest. I don't have a lot of respect for him. Mainly the source of these feelings is his long-term unemployment. I divorced him over it back in 2006, but he manipulated me into letting him stay with me by telling me he was dyeing of cancer. I didn't really believe him, but a part of me was afraid it was true.<br />
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9 years later, I have no one to blame but myself for allowing things to go on so long, but since he has no source of income, I don't know how to separate myself from him. I can't force him to leave and he won't go voluntarily. I don't want him to have to pitch a tent and live in the park, but I also don't want to continue being miserable for the rest of my (or his) life.<br />
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Mostly I just pretend it isn't how things are and I go about my life. <br />
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Intellectually I know having an affair won't really change things, except maybe he would get the point. And maybe I wouldn't be so lonely.Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-11793216216171179442015-09-22T11:55:00.003-07:002015-09-23T09:43:11.204-07:00Vacation was a month ago and I am just now postingWoops!<br />
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I have a very, very busy job this time of the year. Things will be quieting down soon, but the last few weeks since I returned from vacation have been CRAZY.<br />
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We had a really nice trip. We traveled from Eugene, Oregon to Orlando, Florida. We went to Universal Studios to see the Harry Potter lands and it was AMAZING! I am a complete Harry Potter geek and so are my kids, especially my oldest daughter. Here are some pictures:<br />
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After we did four days at Universal, we rented a car and drove to the Florida Keys. We stayed in Tavernier in a lovely condo. The weather was lovely much of the time, but on the two days we tried to go snorkeling, a passing storm and wind respectively thwarted our plans. This is the closest I got:<br />
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We did spend lots of time laying around the pool, shopping, eating, etc. My youngest (age 12) went swimming with dolphins and my oldest (14) made me go parasailing with her. Here are some pics:<br />
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On our last full day, we drove down to Key West. It was the most beautiful drive I've ever taken.<br />
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This was the trip of a lifetime. I saved money for YEARS to make it happen. I gained a few pounds while we were away (Key lime pie, anyone?) and unfortunately I am still struggling to drop them. I think the stress and business of work haven't been my friend. I am just eating about 200 calories too much each day. I'm still tracking my food and exercising like always, but I am drinking too many coffee drinks. <br />
<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-67261823326078295392015-08-06T11:03:00.003-07:002015-08-06T11:03:57.594-07:00Well, this is a first. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There is a hole developing in my jeans. Can you see it in the photo? It is on my leg, up a bit from my knee.<br />
<br />
I do not think I have EVER had a pair of jeans wear out before. <br />
<br />
I've outgrown lots of jeans.<br />
<br />
While I was losing weight, I got too small for lots of jeans.<br />
<br />
When I was heavy, I busted out the seams of lots of jeans.<br />
<br />
I even ruined several pairs of (probably too tight) jeans by yanking them on and busting the belt loops out.<br />
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But I do not believe I have ever been the same size for long enough that I could actually wear out a pair of jeans.<br />
<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-5020697505928473302015-07-30T12:12:00.002-07:002015-07-30T12:12:58.004-07:00Trainwreck<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I saw Trainwreck last weekend. Have you seen it? I had heard that it was very funny, but it was also sweet and touching in a way I hadn't expected.<br />
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I'm coming pretty late to the Amy Schumer party. A few weeks ago, this is all I knew about her:<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPpsI8mWKmg" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPpsI8mWKmg</a><br />
<br />
I've loved Bill Hader for years and this movie is my favorite thing I've ever seen him do. <br />
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My favorite thing about this movie, however, wasn't the story or the comedy, it was that there were no jokes or discussion about how Amy doesn't have the typical Hollywood leading lady body. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like how in the Bridget Jones movies, all anyone could talk about was how fat Bridget was, even though she wasn't. Online sources tell me Renee Zellweger weighed between 137 - 147 lbs. (62-66 kg.). She is 5'3" (1.63 m).<br />
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Amy Schumer was recently quoted as saying, "I'm probably, like, 160 pounds right now and I can catch a dick
whenever I want. Like, that's the
truth. It's not a problem."<br />
<br />
Throughout the entire Trainwreck movie, there was no mention of Amy's weight or size, except some comments about how hot and sexy she was. There were some gags about her being out of shape, but it was more from the perspective of being someone who parties hard, rather than because she was supposed to be "fat". It was refreshing to see a person of average size in a leading role without the constant barrage of granny-panties and fat lady jokes!<br />
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So if you're looking for something fun to do this weekend, see Trainwreck and let me know what you think!<br />
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<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-15115185114265412552015-07-23T11:07:00.003-07:002015-07-23T11:07:49.814-07:00My diamond shoes are too tight. You know how fitness and weight maintenance is pretty easy sometimes and at other times it is hard? I'm having a hard time these days.<br />
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I don't really know what the problem is, which is often the case with me. I have been going along and doing what I do, but for some reason I had a crappy weigh-in this week. I was 155, which is two pounds higher than what I consider my goal-weight. Actually I consider 150 my goal, but I have a three-pound acceptable range so 153 is the heaviest I would like to see. The only possible explanation I can offer is that I have had a few high calorie days since the last time I weighed myself, which was about ten days ago. I normally weigh myself once a week and I will often have one high-calorie day during a normal week. I think I had three days of the ten during which I exceed my calorie allotment. <br />
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My daily calorie allowance is 1,050 net calories so 1,050 plus whatever I burn by working out. I am very active (I average about 12,000 intentional steps per day). I offer this information so that people know that when you abuse your body (not that way, ya pervs) for years and years by starving yourself, dieting, binging, compulsively exercising, etc. you fuck up your metabolism and end up not being able to eat as much as a "normal" if you want to stay relatively thin. It sucks, but it is the way it works.<br />
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Today I was back to 153, but again, this is the highest number I care to see so I still need to keep my calories low so I can get a little lower and feel more comfortable.<br />
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It is exhausting being me sometimes.<br />
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I have about six or seven months a year when my job is pretty crazy - April - the end of September or so. The rest of the time, things are busy part of the month, but not too bad the rest of the time. In the summer, I also do all the summer things that my daughters want so they can have a childhood. So we go camping once or twice a month on the weekend. One weekend day is spent driving them to camp (this year that trip took me 10.5 hours). I have to work one Saturday, 8/1 so I will only have one day off that week. The next weekend is my birthday and we are going to take a day trip to go back-to-school shopping. I also will be taking a week off for vacation at the end of August. We're going to the fair this Sunday. I'm also trying to have some work done around my house. (Does anyone know why contractors are so flaky?). <br />
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Don't get me wrong. I am so lucky to be able to all this stuff and I know that. This is not a case of "my diamond shoes are too tight". This is a case of "Mama's fucking exhausted. She's tired of working non-stop. She's tired of pinching pennies so we can go to the fucking fair or camp or on vacation or camping or back-to-school shopping". Do you know I have been saving money since February to pay for back-to-school shopping? Every month, I put a bit away. I spend eight months of the year saving for that and my car insurance and the rest of the time saving for Christmas shopping. Mama's so tired she'd have a drink, but there are too many fucking calories and didn't you read the first several paragraphs of this blog???<br />
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Maybe I should start smoking weed. It is legal in Oregon now. <br />
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Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-75773517373137039312015-07-20T11:35:00.001-07:002015-07-20T11:35:07.358-07:00VACAY!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I will be taking a vacation next month and I'm curious, do you take a vacation from your health and fitness goals when you're on vacation?<br />
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A friend of mine who is also a My Fitness Pal friend, commented in that forum that she was on vacation and eating like crap and I started to think about it. <br />
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On one hand, I am feeling kind of burnt out and perhaps a vacation from my health and fitness regime would be appropriate. We will be going to Florida next month to visit Harry Potter world at Universal Studios in Orlando. I know that the days we are in Orlando, I will get lots and lots of exercise and will be able to eat whatever I want. It will be a non-issue. After that, we are renting a car and driving to Key Largo so I can lay on the beach, sipping piña coladas for a few days. We're also going snorkeling and there is probably a gym at our hotel, so I could work out if I wanted to.<br />
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But do I want to?<br />
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I have had several camping weekends and other little excursions so far this summer and I have stuck to my plan, for the most part. But the way, occasional deviations is completely acceptable in my health and fitness plan. Some days I eat too much. Sometimes when I'm traveling, I can't exercise like I do at home. But when I'm home, I stick with the general plan. I HAD been planning to increase my calorie goal from 1,050 net calories (1,050 plus exercise) to 2,000 calories per day so I wouldn't have to see MFP tell me I'd gone over my calorie goal. That seems pretty easy. No foods will be off-limits. I will exercise by walking and standing all day in Orlando and perhaps by incorporating exercise into my beach days if I feel like it. Or not. I don't expect to go crazy.<br />
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But I must admit there is an allure to just doing what I want and not thinking about it. What do you guys do while on vacation? <br />
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<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-56958581238855604602015-06-30T11:13:00.000-07:002015-07-20T11:35:29.726-07:00Fitness Tracking Thoughts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have been thinking about getting a Fit Bit. I currently use a free app on my phone, Map My Walk, to track my intentional exercise and I really like it. But it drains my phone battery and I try to only use WIFI (not data) so there are some delays in syncing the data to My Fitness Pal. Plus since it is free, there are ads and other annoyances.<br />
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I know that I currently am averaging about 7+ intentional miles per day of exercise, through walking, biking, and cardio at the gym. If 5 miles is 10,000 steps, I think I am getting about 14,000+ intentional steps per day. I say intentional steps because I do not do any sort of tracking of the unintentional steps that we all take everyday (walking around the house, walking around at work, etc.). It is there that my desire for the Fit Bit comes in: I would like to <i>know</i> how many steps I am getting.<br />
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So I would like some suggestions and information from you guys about the fitness trackers that you use. What to do have? Do you like it? How's the battery life? Does it easily sync to your apps?<br />
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But I also kind of see a dark side here. You may not be shocked to hear that I am kind of compulsive (YOU?!?! Impossible!), especially about exercise, health and fitness. I don't think it is a real problem in my life (a clinical psychologist once told me that exercise is only an issue if it interferes with one's life in a significant way), but I do think I have the capacity to have it become a problem. <br />
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I'm just going to take a moment and list all of the things that I have been compulsive about at various times in my life: food, eating specific foods, counting calories/fat grams/sugar/protein, overeating, not eating, binging, purging, work, exercise, weight loss, relationships, sex, dieting. There may be more, but that's all I can think of now.</div>
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Moderation is my new life mantra. All things in moderation: All foods, the right amount of work, the right amount of exercise, the right amount of relaxation, the right amount of family time. </div>
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But here is the issue: when your brain is a little broken in this regard, how do you know when you're crossing from moderation to a little too much in the wrong direction? Is it when you buy a Fit Bit tracker to tell you every little step you take so you can enter the number in your daily electronic journal and then post about it on your blog? </div>
Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-84297178969353501392015-06-23T10:55:00.002-07:002015-06-23T11:00:53.321-07:00Fat Acceptance MovementI have been reading a fat acceptance blog lately. It is called <a href="https://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/">Dances With Fat</a>. One of my Facebook friends, someone I went to junior high with, often posts articles from this blog on Facebook and I've found them really interesting. They make me question some of my own biases and bring awareness to how acceptable it is in our society to discriminate against people who are overweight. <br />
<br />
I believe that each of deserve to be treated with kindness and should be able to live free of discrimination in all areas of life, regardless of size, age, religion, gender, gender identity, race, sexuality or any other status. I work very hard to be aware of my own biases and I try very hard to be kind at all times, even when people are not kind to me. I think that discrimination against fat people is insidiously ingrained into our communal psyche and even fat people are guilty of it. <br />
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I also believe that fat people are just as smart, worthy, valuable and healthy as their thin counterparts. They deserve the same access to health care. They deserve the same career opportunities. They should be portrayed in the media as complete and vibrant human beings. <br />
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I realize that I, and many of you guys, are the exception to the experience most people who are overweight have with weight loss. I used to weigh 280 lbs. and now I weigh 150 lbs. But most people, myself included at one point, who are overweight are not successful when they diet to lose weight. It is not just the majority of dieters who fail to reach a normal weight and maintain the weight loss for any length of time, it is a super-majority. Only a very small percentage, perhaps as few as 2 in 100, lose weight weight and keep the weight off (1). <br />
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This sad statistic should signal that there is a problem with the whole diet-weight loss plan when it comes to treating obesity. What is even more troubling is that most people who lose weight on a diet will re-gain the weight and then gain additional weight as well. I suspect that it is this process of losing, re-gaining and gaining more over and over that is a main cause of obesity.<br />
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But instead of viewing the dismal failures of diets as a sign that they do not work and a signal that more research should be done into obesity treatment, our society blames the dieter for the failure. They may be viewed as medically non-compliant by medically professionals, which can effect the type of treatment that they receive.<br />
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Having said all of that, I still want to be thin. I want to be viewed in a certain way by society: as attractive, fit, healthy, competent. I want to like what I see when I look in the mirror and I don't think that I could like myself fat. I sure didn't before. I did not create the impossible standards by which society judges one another and I try not to perpetuate them toward others, but they still exist in my mind. <br />
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I recognize that my unique set of circumstances that took me from obese to "normal" is a path few others would be able to follow. Even if they did things exactly as I did, they would probably not experience the same results. Not because I am exceptional, but because our own individual experiences are just that: individual. What works for me may not work for you. <br />
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So I am curious what you guys think about this. How can we reconcile the seemingly contradictory ideas about loving ourselves as we are with trying to be the very best version of ourselves that we can be? <br />
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(1) <span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS; font-size: xx-small;">Goodrick GK, Foreyt JP. Why treatments for obesity don't last.
Journal of the American Dietetic Association 1991;91:1243-1247.</span>Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-34647584310576395082015-06-12T14:14:00.001-07:002015-06-12T14:14:29.156-07:00My broken brainYou know that thing where you can't even hardly stand the thought of talking to one more person and you just want to go home and crawl under the covers? The one where something shitty happened and it's all you can think of all week and it keeps running through your mind and makes you want to cry or scream or quit and run away? Do you know what I am talking about?<br />
<br />
Yeah, that thing.<br />
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That things SUCKS. <br />
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<br />Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-77244613956542967812015-06-09T10:13:00.002-07:002015-06-09T10:13:27.707-07:00Dear John Letter:Dear Peanut Butter Trail Mix from the Bulk Bin at <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/winco?source=feed_text"><span class="_58cl">#</span><span class="_58cm">Winco</span></a>,
I am breaking up with you. Although I love you more than you know, I
suspect that you're not really good for me. I want to quit you, but if you're in the house, I just can't. Trust me, it's not you,
it's me. Sincerely, Amanda<br />
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Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5822717385980423235.post-88098925885073240592015-06-02T12:15:00.000-07:002015-06-02T12:15:14.577-07:00Wait, what?Apparently I do not know how old I am. I made some changes to my blog and said I was 42 (see above). I am actually 41.<br />
<br />
So, I saw my Lap Band surgeon last week and the band is staying put for a while. I am okay with this. Although it has slipped out of position, I am not currently having any complications and I would much rather be banded than bandless BUT...<br />
<br />
...I am kind of pissed off at my surgeon. First of all, the way I found out that the band had slipped was by asking how the UGI came out. No one got in touch with me until I sent an email asking if everything was okay. Then they told me it was NOT okay, the band had slipped. Then they tried to get insurance authorization for the revision to the sleeve, which was denied. Removing the band was authorized. So then they call me and make a pre-op appointment. And then I meet with the surgeon and he acts like I am wasting his time by coming in because I was not currently having symptoms. He asked why I had the UGI (which his office ordered) and I have to tell him that I was sick for five or sick weeks after the last surgery to which he responds, "Well, maybe you had a virus." Wait, what? I had lap band repositioning surgery and was sick every time I ate or drank for three weeks and every time I ate for 5-6 weeks BECAUSE I HAD A VIRUS??? And also he has my UGI results that show the band is out of position, but THAT couldn't have possibly been the problem. <br />
<br />
Whatever.<br />
<br />
Since I am not having any problems, I wasn't really planning to have the band removed, but then I learned that insurance would probably never cover a revision unless my BMI increased. Also my insurance will be changing next month, probably to a crappy cover-nothing policy. I explained these things to the surgeon and he pretty much ignored me.<br />
<br />
So whatever. <br />
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The thing is, I'm really not unhappy to be keeping my band. The idea of life without it was kind of terrifying. <br />
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This is kind of stupid, but another thing that happened at the surgeon's office that pissed me off was that the resident was talking to me about what was going on and he said I looked great after having lost the 20 lbs. since surgery (I looked great before too, asshat) and he also asked me if I was still working out two or three times a week. WHAT??? I work out two or three times A DAY, every day and I am sure it is in my chart. I've always been active, even when I was fat. <br />
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I feel like neither of them, the surgeon or the surgical residence, bothered to do more than skim my file. They also couldn't show me the films from the UGI, although the surgeon said the slip wasn't bad. Amanda Kiskahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035180757671095192noreply@blogger.com5