Shaky

That's how I feel in the mornings.  Shaky.  Weak.  But not hungry.

Hunger is a virtual stranger these days.  It is weird, really.  When I realize I am feeling shaky and I still can't come up with a food I want to eat, it occurs to me how strange it is not to feel hungry in these moments.  Even weirder is to not really want to eat even though I know my body needs fuel.

I was on vacation last week so my schedule was all messed up.  When I am at work, I typically eat three meals a day, but on weekends and (apparently) vacations, I drop down to two meals a day.  I didn't plan to do that.  It just sort of happened.  And after several days of two meals a day, I noticed I was shaky in the morning.  Shaky and my brain felt sort of crazed.  I would try to think of something I wanted to eat and then be unable to come up with anything.  Except for toffee.  That always sounded good.  

What is weird to me about this is that I never would have thought pre-band that hunger was a problem for me.  Or that not being hungry would cause me to eat less.  I thought my eating had little to do with my hunger.  I ate when I wasn't hungry.  I stopped eating when I was way-past full.  I ate because I wanted food.  I ate because I was bored, tired, angry, stressed, happy.  But when I got good restriction with my lap-band and my hunger was so greatly diminished, I lost my preoccupation with food.  I lost the obsession.  Eating has become something I HAVE to do rather than something I constantly WANT to do.

It is weird.