Friday, May 7, 2010
My mom, my younger sister, me and my older sister, Easter 2009
Since Mother's Day is coming up on Sunday I wanted to honor my mom a bit in this post. I can't fully do that, however, without telling you about my grandmother first. My mom's mom, Granny Crackers as she was called, has been gone about five years, but she was a wonderful woman. She grew up in Idaho on a farm. Her mother was a flapper (hard to imagine flappers in ID) who committed suicide when Granny was 15 years old. Granny married shortly thereafter and had four children, two sons and two daughters. She and my grandpa divorced after Grandpa had an affair with his secretary. He later married the secretary. What is so important about this story is that I grew up and never senced an ounce of anamosity between Granny, Grandpa or New Wife. None. We all got together for holidays, weddings, funerals, BBQ's, etc. We would meet at either Granny's house or Grandpa and New Wife's house. Everyone would be there. Grandpa had a farm so once a year we would do things like bring in the hay, can vegetables, butcher, etc. and everyone would participate. Granny and New Wife would happily put up corn together in New Wife's kitchen (formerally Granny's kitchen). Now I adored my grandpa, but he was by no means an easy man to be around. I hold no illusions that it was his sunny personality that kept all of these charecters from cat fighting over turkey dinner. No, it was definately Granny (and a little bit New Wife) with all the grace and class to keep her family from falling apart. I'm sure it wasn't easy for her, but you'd never had guessed.
So this is where my mom comes from. Like her mother, she is hard working and accepting. She has always made my boyfriends (even the jack butts) feel welcome and at ease. She never judges (at least not out loud). My oldest sister actually thinks my mom prefers her ex-husband to her! Mom doesn't prefer him, but she is just that stinkin' nice and accomodating.
My mom is so accepting that she has a tendency to get taken advantage of. I can relate to this and it is interesting to look at how she handles things and see the patterns that I follow in my own life.
My mom is very generous. If someone is in need, she's there. I once received $50 cash in the mail with a little note reading, "Just Because". It was one of those weeks when I had nothing so it was a timely surprise!
Granny worked all her life. She retired about 10 years before she died, but then she ended up working several odd jobs to get by. At one time, she had a good chunk of money, but she gave most of it away to her children. It makes me really sad that she didn't get to enjoy her final years more than she did. Really the only time she didn't work was the last two months of her life after she'd been diagnosed with a brain tumor. So from her example, I've also learned what NOT to do. I sincerely hope my mom also earned this lesson because she recently inheritated a bit of money. I want my mom to use that money to set herself up for her retirement. But perhaps that is a different post altogether.
As you can see from the photos of me and my mom, I resemble her a great deal. She currently weighs about what I did when I got my lap band. I have been talking to her about the surgery and urging her to consider doing it too. She isn't quite as adventerous as I am, I guess, so I'm not sure I have her quite talked into it. She talks about going back to Weight Watchers or going to a medical (non-surgical) weight loss program in town. She, like me, has been down those roads before, but like most of us, she blamed herself when the programs didn't work.
My mom is one of my best friends. My daughters adore her. If they could do anything in the world, it would probably be spend the night at their grandma's house. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful mom. Happy Mother's Day!