I have a wish list. Actually I have two lists; a "needs" list and a "wants" list. Once a year or so I look over the list and notice which items have been achieved and which items are still open. The items on the list are things that I pray about. It helps me to see that even when I don't notice that my needs, and even some of my wants, are being met, they actually are.
My list is about seven years old. Many of the things on the list were very relevant in 2003, but not anymore. For example, one of the items on the list is my grandmother getting better, but she died in October 2005. Another item is doing well in college. I graduated in 2006. Some of the things on the list haven't really changed like my wish for financial security. But even though this has been a struggle for at least the last seven years, we still have a roof over our head, clothes to waer and enough food to eat.
My weight issue has been featured prominently in this list. In February 2008 I made a note that I had lost 21 lbs. (9.53 kg.). I followed the entry with a big dark exclamation point like I was so excited about it. I remember that weight loss attempt really clearly. My friend has had gastric bypass in August 2007 and we went to the beach a month or so later. She was eating mushies (baby food, applesause, cottage cheese) and I wondered why she couldn't just follow the diet and lose weight without the surgery. I started my diet in October as my last-ditch effort to lose weight. I was afraid that surgery might be my only option too, but when I was able to lose weight, I was really encouraged that I could do it this time. I lost weight really slowly. All together I lost 24 lbs. (10.89 kg.) in about four months and then nothing for two more months when I finally quit.
I was losing weight really slowly, but what got me off track was that I gave up sweets for Lent that year. When Easter came, I had a deprevation induced binge. As I recall I had difficulty all through Lent following my food plan. It was as if the idea that certain foods were off limits made me rebel against the diet. I've since come to realize that I cannot make any foods off limits. If I want something, I need to be able to work it into my food plan or I will rebel and binge.
So I updated the weight issue on my list. I noted WLS on 2/12/10. I believe this is the answer for me. But even though I consider my weight issue in the process of being resolved, I know that I will always have to work on it. Last night, for example, I ate when I wasn't hungry. I was irritated and hot and tired and food sounded good. I didn't go overboard with calories or anything. It wasn't a binge, but it wasn't the way I want to eat anymore. Today I'm going to log my food so hopefully I won't continue to be off track.
I encourage you to make your own "Need/Want" list. Once a year or so, go over the list and write the date the item was resolved. You may be surprised by how many of your needs are met.