Good Monday morning! I hope you all had a great weekend. I didn't do much other than straighten up the house and get the laundry done. I did have an interesting set of experiences that I thought I'd share with you.
The first incident was Friday night. My aunt was in town so I went to my mom's house for the evening. I love my aunt very much, but she is kind of a handful. She was thin her entire life until perhaps 5 years ago. Now she is heavy. To hear her talk, her weight gain has nothing to do with eating. I suppose that could be true, but I doubt it. My mom was always the fat one. I think she has trouble with her changing role. She's not the thin sister anymore. Anyway, she briefly acknowledged that I'd lost weight (I think my mom brought it up) and then she continued talking about herself. Which is fine. I don't need everyone to tell me how fantastic I look or ask me what I'm doing. But then we started talking about exercise and I mentioned that I walk every day. This isn't new; I've always been a regular exerciser. But I felt like I was bragging and atributing my weight loss to my activity. It wasn't anything I said, but my mind was thinking the thoughts. For a moment, I was the reformed dieter, standing on her soap box talking about how much weight she's lost and how easy it is and how you just have to do this and this and this.
I went to church on Sunday morning and at least five people mentioned how great I look. This has been the norm since the weather got better and I started wearing less clothing (that makes it sound like I go half-naked to church). A few people asked what I was doing and I said I was eating less and exercising more (true). The thing is, I felt like I was being dishonest. When one of my dear church-friends came up to me for the second time and asked what I was doing, I told her the truth.
I told her because she is at least 100 lbs. overweight and because I care about her and because I don't want her to walk away feeling like a failure. I've been in that situation before. My sister lost 60 lbs. a few years ago without trying. She used to be my weight-loss buddy. We used to go to WW together and the gym. Now she is skinny and until I had WLS, I was very resentful of her.
Here's the deal: I don't believe diets work for most people. I've heard something like 95-97% of diets FAIL. Most of us think that is because the dieter is at fault, but I don't buy that anymore. In fact, most dieters who do lose weight will eventually gain it back. And then some. If you want an overweight person to become an obese person, putting them on a diet is probably a good way to go about it.
Which brings me back to what to say to people who notice my weight loss. I don't want to get into a whole thing with anyone, but I also don't want to cause anyone to feel ashamed about not being able to do what I'm doing.