Weigh Day

It's Wednesday Weigh Day! I weighed in this morning at 217.6 lbs. (98.7 Kg.) for a loss of 1.4 lbs. (.64 kg.) for the week. Not as dramatic as my other weigh ins this month, but I'll take it! I am down 62.4 lbs. (28.3 kg.) total since February.

My goal is 37.6 lbs. (17.05 kg.) away. Let me say that again. My goal is 37.6 lbs. (17.05) away. I can't believe it. I know I still have a ways to go and ideally I'd like to lose more than 100 lbs. (45.35 kg.), but if I never lost any more than that, I'd be okay with it. Just thinking about it is completely overwelming - and I don't mean that I'm overwelmed by still having 37.6 lbs. to lose. I mean I'm overwelmed to be so close. I'm overwelmed that I've been able to do it thus far.

I see myself now and I think I look pretty good. Not thin, of course, but not bad. When I started, I felt like anyone looking at me would see mainly fat. Now I'm sort of "normal-fat" if there is such a thing.

I'm also not really doing anything special. I'm definately not dieting. I am eating whatever foods I want. My lap-band keeps my quantities under control. I try to eat enough protein, drink lots of water, and get daily exercise. I'm not going crazy with sweets, but have something sweet once or twice a week. There isn't anything I am doing that I could see stopping once I get to goal. Maybe I should say that again! This is my life now and I can't believe it! I've always wanted to be able to live like this. I eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full. I enjoy eating and I don't feel ashamed of my food choices. I love my lap-band!

Here's one for the LADIES!

I was looking back at some old posts and I noticed that every month about this time, I go into a bit of a funk. Yep. You guessed it! It's TOM that sends me off the deep end into a depression spiral of never-ending fear and dismay.

Isn't it fun to be a girl?

Kicking head hunger in the A$$~!

So far in my WLS journey, I've had a pretty easy time of it. I'm almost afraid to type that in case I curse myself, but it's true. I've lost weight really consistently in the four months since surgery and have been really motivated. I never imagined I'd be down more than 60 lbs. by this stage in the game.

I haven't even really had any major cravings. At least not until this weekend. All of the sudden, I wanted to eat! This coincided with my lap-band being somewhat looser than it has been. Which I actually consider a good thing. I've discovered I don't like being super tight. I like being able to eat without getting stuck. But I digress. I had to struggle not to overeat this weekend and I'm happy to say I made it through without any major issues.

I am doing my first 5K on Sunday, July 4th. Hope I'm ready!

Pix of my yard

I took these a couple of weeks ago. We had weeks and weeks of rain and grey days. It is beautiful now - sunny and 80 (26 C). We live in the city, but this is our little slice of the country:

Blueberries - These will be ripe in August.


These hens provide my family with eggs, but they don't like having their photo taken.


We have lots of extra space in the garden this year. I don't know if we'll get around to planting anything else.

My raspberries are ripe now and they are so yummy. I also have strawberries and cherries.

Wish List

I have a wish list. Actually I have two lists; a "needs" list and a "wants" list. Once a year or so I look over the list and notice which items have been achieved and which items are still open. The items on the list are things that I pray about. It helps me to see that even when I don't notice that my needs, and even some of my wants, are being met, they actually are.

My list is about seven years old. Many of the things on the list were very relevant in 2003, but not anymore. For example, one of the items on the list is my grandmother getting better, but she died in October 2005. Another item is doing well in college. I graduated in 2006. Some of the things on the list haven't really changed like my wish for financial security. But even though this has been a struggle for at least the last seven years, we still have a roof over our head, clothes to waer and enough food to eat.

My weight issue has been featured prominently in this list. In February 2008 I made a note that I had lost 21 lbs. (9.53 kg.). I followed the entry with a big dark exclamation point like I was so excited about it. I remember that weight loss attempt really clearly. My friend has had gastric bypass in August 2007 and we went to the beach a month or so later. She was eating mushies (baby food, applesause, cottage cheese) and I wondered why she couldn't just follow the diet and lose weight without the surgery. I started my diet in October as my last-ditch effort to lose weight. I was afraid that surgery might be my only option too, but when I was able to lose weight, I was really encouraged that I could do it this time. I lost weight really slowly. All together I lost 24 lbs. (10.89 kg.) in about four months and then nothing for two more months when I finally quit.

I was losing weight really slowly, but what got me off track was that I gave up sweets for Lent that year. When Easter came, I had a deprevation induced binge. As I recall I had difficulty all through Lent following my food plan. It was as if the idea that certain foods were off limits made me rebel against the diet. I've since come to realize that I cannot make any foods off limits. If I want something, I need to be able to work it into my food plan or I will rebel and binge.

So I updated the weight issue on my list. I noted WLS on 2/12/10. I believe this is the answer for me. But even though I consider my weight issue in the process of being resolved, I know that I will always have to work on it. Last night, for example, I ate when I wasn't hungry. I was irritated and hot and tired and food sounded good. I didn't go overboard with calories or anything. It wasn't a binge, but it wasn't the way I want to eat anymore. Today I'm going to log my food so hopefully I won't continue to be off track.

I encourage you to make your own "Need/Want" list. Once a year or so, go over the list and write the date the item was resolved. You may be surprised by how many of your needs are met.

Everything is better with the metric system

This is my weigh-day and I am 219 lbs. which is 99.3 kg.! As someone who grew up in the States, 99.3 kg. sounds so much better than 219 lbs. I'm sure that isn't the case for people who grew up using kilos routinely. Still I think there should be a special name for hitting double digits in kilos, ala Onederland. What do you guys think? Double-D? Any other ideas?

I also wanted to report that I rode my bike 28 miles last week. That is 45.06 km.! See what I mean about everything being better?

I've hit the 60 lb. down mark. As a matter of fact, I am 61 lbs. down since my highest pre-op weight. Here is a photo of me taken last summer at the Oregon Shakespearean Festival in Ashland. We saw Don Quixote, btw. Not Shakespeare, I know, but Cervantes was a contemporary of Shakespeare and he is the father of the modern novel:



Now here's a photo of me this week, in double digits:

Beautiful Blogger Award

I am truly honored to have been given this award by two of my favorite bloggers, Pamela and Kagead. Thank you both so much and thank you to all of my followers who faithfully read this drivel and make insightful comments, even when I don't have anything to offer.

I am supposed to tell you seven things that you may not know about me and then nominate seven others for the award. So without further ado, here goes!

1) Whenever I wear a v-neck or low cut shirt, I check out my boobs...constantly. There is just something about the perspective of looking at them from above. The only good thing about getting fat was having big boobs. I've already lost a cup size. I'll probably end up a B cup when I'm done. But I'll still check them out.

2) Like Beth, I speak fluent Spanish. In fact I have a Bachelor's degree in Spanish from the University of Oregon.

3) On a related note, I graduated Magna Cum Laude. I put myself through University while working full time and raising my two daughters. While in college, I was bitterly unhappy due to all the stress and pressure.

4) I have been a vegetarian since I was 19 years old. I do not eat meat, fish or poultry. I do eat eggs and dairy products.

5) I only eat full-fat foods and I don't eat sugar free products (except occassionaly Splenda). I have heavy cream in my coffee in the morning. I eat real butter.

6) I have a sister who is three years older than me and a sister who is 21 years younger than me. My mom's crazy!

7) My date of my birthday this year will be 8-9-10.

8) I know I said seven things, but I also wanted to mention that I have lived in Mexico twice. I love to travel and I also love living in another country. I hope someday to retire there or perhaps somewhere else with nice weather and where they are Spanish-speaking.

I follow many wonderful blogs and it is impossible to narrow it down to just seven people to honor. This is a random list in no particular order:

1) Grace Grace is such a sweetie. I kind of feel like her big sister or something although she is much smarter than me. I wish I'd had the courage to address my eating issues at her age rather then wait until I was 36.
2) Stephanie I love Stephanie for so many reasons. She is kind and generous and beautiful. I wish we lived closer because I'm sure we'd be friends!
3) Sarah One of the first blogs I started following, Sarah is another veteran lap-bander. I so appreicate the wisdom and experience of those who've been at this for awhile!
4) Bonnie I think Bonnie has been waiting for a band longer than any other blogger I follow. I am so frustrated for her and so impressed by her patience!
5) Shrinking Mommy Shrinking Mommy is awesome. She has such a fun-sounding life.
6) Carmen Carmen is my sister from another mister (so corny, sorry!). I swear we were seperated at birth. Our pre-op weight was the same, we were banded on almost the same day, we even have the same favorite song. Every time she posts, I see a bit of me in what she has to say.
7) Tina Another Oregonian, Tina is at goal and has been such an inspiration to me.
8) Pamela A breast cancer survivor and still in the pre-band phase, Pamela is awesome! I just started following her blog and I love it and her!

Good Monday morning! I hope you all had a great weekend. I didn't do much other than straighten up the house and get the laundry done. I did have an interesting set of experiences that I thought I'd share with you.

The first incident was Friday night. My aunt was in town so I went to my mom's house for the evening. I love my aunt very much, but she is kind of a handful. She was thin her entire life until perhaps 5 years ago. Now she is heavy. To hear her talk, her weight gain has nothing to do with eating. I suppose that could be true, but I doubt it. My mom was always the fat one. I think she has trouble with her changing role. She's not the thin sister anymore. Anyway, she briefly acknowledged that I'd lost weight (I think my mom brought it up) and then she continued talking about herself. Which is fine. I don't need everyone to tell me how fantastic I look or ask me what I'm doing. But then we started talking about exercise and I mentioned that I walk every day. This isn't new; I've always been a regular exerciser. But I felt like I was bragging and atributing my weight loss to my activity. It wasn't anything I said, but my mind was thinking the thoughts. For a moment, I was the reformed dieter, standing on her soap box talking about how much weight she's lost and how easy it is and how you just have to do this and this and this.

I went to church on Sunday morning and at least five people mentioned how great I look. This has been the norm since the weather got better and I started wearing less clothing (that makes it sound like I go half-naked to church). A few people asked what I was doing and I said I was eating less and exercising more (true). The thing is, I felt like I was being dishonest. When one of my dear church-friends came up to me for the second time and asked what I was doing, I told her the truth.

I told her because she is at least 100 lbs. overweight and because I care about her and because I don't want her to walk away feeling like a failure. I've been in that situation before. My sister lost 60 lbs. a few years ago without trying. She used to be my weight-loss buddy. We used to go to WW together and the gym. Now she is skinny and until I had WLS, I was very resentful of her.

Here's the deal: I don't believe diets work for most people. I've heard something like 95-97% of diets FAIL. Most of us think that is because the dieter is at fault, but I don't buy that anymore. In fact, most dieters who do lose weight will eventually gain it back. And then some. If you want an overweight person to become an obese person, putting them on a diet is probably a good way to go about it.

Which brings me back to what to say to people who notice my weight loss. I don't want to get into a whole thing with anyone, but I also don't want to cause anyone to feel ashamed about not being able to do what I'm doing.

Is anyone else losing their hair?

Or is it just me? I mentioned this to a friend of mine who'd had gastric bypass and she said it was because I wasn't getting enough protein.

I've also heard that hair loss after surgery is pretty common.

I've had this happen twice before in my life. Both times were a couple months after I'd given birth. I assummed at the time it had to do with having a little life form sharing my body and stealing my nutrients. In those cases, the hair loss lasted a few months and then it stopped.

What do you guys think? Is it a lack of protein? Surgery trauma?

BTW I am drinking a diet soda right now. Jealous? I'm so BAD!

Happy Tuesday!

Greetings Blogland! I am writing a quick post to say hi and report that I got my raise. So that takes care of roughly $100 per month of my deficit after taxes. Unfortunately there wasn't much I could do with my car payment. They are willing to give me a better interest rate, but that will only give me $11 extra a month or allow me to pay it off one month earlier than I was scheduled.

So that leaves health insurance and satellite TV. If I cancel them both, I should be in good shape. My health insurance is total crap, but it is better than nothing. It doesn't cover any of my lap-band stuff. I self-pay for fills and such.

On happier news, I received a package from the Sisterhood yesterday with 5 pairs of size 20 pants and two shirts from Linda as well as some shirts. Thank you so much! You are awesome. I am still solidly in size 20 although several of my pants in that size are too big. I've tried on some size 18's at the store and at home and while I can get them on and zipped, let's just say we might as well have a cuppa with that big ol' MUFFIN TOP.

That reminds me that last weekend I took my 7-year-old daughter to Walmart and I tried on some capris and she said, "Looks good, Mom. And they don't give you muffin top!"

I rode my bike to work today. It is about 3.4 miles (5.47 km) each way. Totally flat ride. I am not big on hills.

I manage rental properties around the University of Oregon and today is the day my first batch of leases end for the summer. I will have about 30 units open up today. Should be fun!

Tough Choices

I am trying to improve my financial situation. I've always been very frugal so I don't have any credit card debt or anything like that, but since my fella has been out of work since January things have gone from not great to oh fuck! He was in school and working a part-time job, but that didn't work out so now he's looking for a "real job". I'm looking for my patience.

I am falling behind by anywhere from $200 - $400 per month. I've been dipping into my savings to get by, but now my disposable savings is depleted so it is time to make some cuts.

I asked my boss for a raise. He said he'd get back to me on Monday. I haven't had a raise in 4 years even though the industry I work in, property management, has been relatively unaffected by the shitty economy. In those four years, my work load has increased dramatically. I've also done several things that has made him more money. For example, two years ago I suggested we start charging our tenants of the campus area properties for parking spaces. This has brought in nearly $10,000 in the last two years. Basically I discovered and implemented a whole new revenue stream. So I think I deserve a raise. The problem is that my boss lives in California where apparently the economy is total crap. He has taken a pay cut at least once from his "real job" (the rental properties that he owns are his little hobby, I guess) so his perspective is skewed. So please cross your fingers for me.

I sent an email to my bank about potentially refinancing my auto loan and I'm also looking into a different health insurance option for my kids. I will probably cancel my own health insurance. My employer doesn't provide insurance at all. I should also cancel my satellite TV, but I really don't want to. For one thing, I am on a contract so I will have to pay a termination fee. For another, it is literally the only luxury I have these days. I don't spend any money on entertainment at all. If we go to the movies, it is the second-run theater in town. I get books from the library. I don't have internet at home. We don't go out to eat. I never go out with friends. I get most of my clothes for free. I would like to go camping, but even that may be too expensive since I'd have to get extra food and camp sites are about $25 per night plus the cost of gas to get there.

I haven't been eating much the last few days. I usually have a few bites and then feel kind of lousy. Not really stuck, but so full it is ridiculous. That feeling lasts for hours. I am kind of ambivalent about it. On one hand, it would be nice to eat more and be able to enjoy my food more without feeling lousy. On the other, I'm not getting sick and I'm not thinking about food too much.

Enjoy your Saturday!

New Philosophy

I feel like I complain too much in my posts. Often times after writing I sort of cringe each time I go back and read your comments. Not because anyone says anything less than wonderful, but because I don't want you to think of me as a big complainer.

The funny thing is that in real life, I seldom complain. My best friends rarely hear about my woes. It falls under my "shit or get off the pot" philosophy that I described the other day. I don't want to be one of "those people" who complains all the time, but never does anything to fix the situation. So I don't complain.

The problem is that all that crap builds up and eventually it explodes out in anger. Which is not to say that I have a violent temper or anything like that, but I have been known to yell from time to time. I work really hard not to say anything I'll regret and I'm usually successful. This is a skill that I've had to work on because as a younger woman, I would say every hurtful, angry thing that floated through my brain in my fit of rage.

The problem with my current method of not complaining/eventually getting so pissed off I freak out is that people freaking out are usually not seen as being all that effective communicators. The most reasonable argument, when screamed at the top of one's lungs and peppered with expletives, seldom comes off as anything but a crazy lady screaming as loud as she can. Even when that crazy lady is 100% correct.

So I'm thinking there must be a more moderate approach. This falls under my new "all things in moderation" philosophy which applies to food as well as complaints and anger. Which is where you come in. Even though I am not really comfortable with it, I am going to continue complaining a bit in my posts. Hopefully not all the time, but sometimes. Feel free to "un-follow" me if you can't handle it!

On the band front, I am feeling better today. I am starting to think my band reads my blog because whenever I complain about it in the blog, it always immediately straightens up and flies right. I ordered my usual Wednesday lunch from Café Yumm! (a small "original" bowl of black beans and brown jasmine rice with salsa, Yumm! sauce, avocados, cilantro and sour cream). I ate it really, really slowly and put the lid on and set it aside a couple of times when I thought I might be getting full. It took a few hours, but I finished it without issue and later had broccoli and cheese quiche for dinner with a piece of watermelon. I'm still tight - my coffee barely gurgled down this morning, but restriction is good, right?

Weigh day and a bunch of bitching

Greetings Bandland! Today is my weigh-day and I am down another 5.3 lbs. (2.4 Kg.) to 223 (101.1 Kg.). That is the end of the good news in this post. The rest will be a bunch of bitching.

Saturday brought TOM to town and I was too tight for solid foods. Sunday and Monday were fine, but Tuesday and thus far today, no-go. TOM has left so I'm not sure why the über-tightness.

Last night was HORRIBLE. I had a couple of bites of dinner and BAM! STUCK. So I quit eating. After a half hour, I had some iced tea. I felt like my stoma was jam-packed with food, but I'd hardly had anything. By 10:00 PM I had no relief. My neck muscles were screaming - somthing that has only happened one other time and I had to have an un-fill. It wasn't the shoulder/neck pain from being full. It was horrible neck pain that I've come to associate with being way too tight. I took some ibuprophin for the pain and threw up the water I drank with them. Luckily the pills stayed down. I threw up three or four times and finally felt a little better.

This morning my coffee would barely go down. I only drank a couple of sips of it. No fun.

I have been really stressed so I am assumming that is why I'm having issues. Yesterday I was on the verge of quitting my job. I had a run-in with some former tenants and my boss has been nit-picking every little thing. I can't even articulate how upset with him I was. I wish he wouldn't wait until the busiest time of the year to try to get all up in the middle of things. My co-worker who I've complained about before was sick for about three weeks so everything is really behind and chaotic and I don't need him changing forms and going over every item looking for inconsequential errors. There litterally isn't enough time for it right now. After I was so stressed with work, my fella decided that would be a great time to start in on me too so now he and I are hardly talking. I know I bit his head off, but I don't feel bad about it since I told him I didn't want to talk at that moment and he kept provoking me.

Anyways...I hope the band gets back to normal soon. It has been pretty fine since my .4 cc un-fill on May 17th.

New Blogger

I just found a new blogger. Her name is Shea and she is going to have Lap-band WLS. If you feel like following her, tell her Amanda sent you. And Shea, I don't think your comments are working (or maybe I'm doing something wrong). Welcome to Bandland!

Women, Food & God

I started reading the new Geneen Roth book Women, Food & God yesterday. I placed it on reserve at the library and have been anxiously awaiting it for months. Other books I've requested have come in and I keep checking my spot on the waiting list and yesterday, finally, I got an email saying it was waiting for me! Yea!

For those of you who are not familiar with Geneen Roth, she has several really great books about compulsive eating. Basically she writes that diets are bunk and that we can lose weight naturally by listening to ourselves, being mindful as we eat, caring for ourselves, etc. I've always enjoyed her books even though I'm not sure I've ever really been able to practice her theories. Actually I know I've never been able to practice her theories. Pre-band the message to stop dieting for me was like permission to binge, even though that is NOT the message of the books. I was attracted to the message, but I couldn't figure out how to make it work in my life. Probably because I was too scared to give up dieting or the negative self-talk.

I am five chapters into the new book and I'm completely disappointed. I've always enjoyed the parts of Geneen's books where she talks about her own life: her problems with her mom, her childhood, her relationship with her husband, her friendships. I would sort of skim the new-agey parts, but this book is so far all new-agey parts. It isn't that there's no value in these parts, but I guess I just don't find them as interesting.

So I am wondering if that is because I am uncomfortable with all the touchy-feely crap. I have done the therapy thing in my life. I've done the self-help book thing. I've done the eating disorder group therapy thing. I've done the 12-step thing. I have examined every teeny tiny bit of the minutiae of my relationship with food. I've looked at it, studied it, railed against it, been complacent with it, ignored it. And I don't mean to sound as if these things didn't have value and meaning. They did. I know many of you see a therapist and I don't want to suggest that there is anything wrong with that. But for me, in my life, I've come to the "shit or get off the pot"-part of my life. I can look at my issues, bitch about them, identify the cause, understand them completely. Or I can quit belly-aching and actually do something about it.

I dated a man for four years named Eddie. I adored him. We had an incredible connection. I remember holding him in my arms as we made love and feeling like we were actually one person. I mention Eddie because he is still belly-aching about his problems. He will be 50 this year. He has no children. He has no long-term significant relationships. His life thus far has been spent agonizing over every problem, real or imagined. He is stuck. He sees a therapist and talks and talks and talks, but never acts.

Sometimes when you talk about things all the time, they seem worse than they are. I guess if you look at anything closely enough, it will appear bigger and more significant than it actually is.

My action plan begins and ends with the lap-band. After years of trying to figure out "My problem with food", I picked a really effective tool that really works for me. It isn't perfect, but it is the best option for me. It is working. And that's not all talk.

Sometimes I miss mindless eating...

Remember back pre-band when you could just eat without thinking about it? Now I do realize that is what got me into so much trouble to begin with, but it sure was simple! I could just decide what sounded good, obtain it, put it in my mouth and it always went from there to my stomach without incident. I didn't have to calculate how long it had been since I'd had something to drink. I didn't have to eat slowly, even if I was starving. I didn't have to take a bite so small that I wasn't even sure it was actually in my mouth. I didn't have to chew, chew, chew until it was ground so tiny it could easily pass through a space the diameter of a drinking straw. Nothing ever got "stuck" going down. And I never, ever, ever PB'd after getting stuck on bite #2 of a meal.

It goes without saying that the arrival of TOM never meant that I would be unable to consume food for 24 hours or more.

I hate to say it, but sometimes having a lap-band is a pain in the ass!

Don't get me wrong - I love my lap-band and I'm so glad I have it. I also know that the veteran bandsters say that stuck & PB episodes decrease with time and experience. But sometimes I do miss the mindless eating...

I've lost a seven-year-old!

Maybe I should be clearer so that no one alerts the FBI: I've lost my seven-year-old daughter's body weight. She weighs 51.4 lbs. (23.3 Kg.) and that's how much I've lost!

Here is a picture of us taken after Christmas 2009:








Here is the last picture taken of us at Bryn's birthday party in April. I've lost about 16 lbs. (7.3 Kg.) since then:

Memorial Day Weekend

We had a great weekend! It was just the right balance between busy and relaxation. I love three day weekends. I wish I could have one every week!

I totally kicked ass with the excersize. Those of you who have been following me for awhile know I am not a gym rat. I walk every day and ride my bike a few times a week. I try to incorporate exercise into my normal routine. I also have a big dog and think that it is important to walk him each day.

Since Saturday I burned 3,379 calories through exercise. Here's what I did:

Lift weights, 10 minutes = 59 calories
Jog, 6 minutes = 73 calories
Shop, 90 minutes = 372 calories
Hike, 90 minutes = 931 calories
Roller skate, 60 minutes = 524 calories
Clean, 85 minutes = 430 calories
Walk, 67 minutes = 508 calories
Cycling, 70 minutes = 508 calories

My youngest daughter and fury son on our hike:

Both my daughters:

The girls and I at my sister's 40th birthday party:

What a difference restriction makes!

I was banded 3.5 months ago with a 4 cc band. I've had two fills and one un-fill. I currently have 2.3 cc's. I have really good restriction. Sometimes I feel I still have too much. I read a lot of other blogs and I know that many of you with lap bands are still feeling you could use a bit (or a lot) more. I want to encourage you to keep getting fills and seeing your doc regularily because, oh boy, what a difference restriction makes!

I try to stick to three meals a day and sometimes I have a snack. I'd say that I can eat no more than one cup of food per meal. I get full pretty quickly and by full, I mean the point at which I could eat no more. Sometimes I'll wait a couple of hours and have something else only to discover that I am still full. Like Saturday - my big sis's 40th birthday party. I had a serving of dinner and took a piece of cake home because I was beyond stuffed. Probably three hours after dinner I had a few bites of the cake. And promptly PB'd. Not because it was stuck, but because I was still full!

Since my un-fill May 17th, I've only PB'd a couple times. I've also been stuck a few times, but not as bad as before the un-fill when I was stuck at every meal. The weather was warmer this weekend and I did notice that I was tighter. My fill doc had mentioned this can happen. That's what happened prior to the un-fill when I was so tight I couldn't eat and often couldn't drink either.

The thing about this restriction is that I don't think I could overeat if I wanted to. No, really. Which is why I am writing this post. I know many of you are still trying to find that perfect level of restriction for you. I hear your frustration, your talk about bad food choices, your feeling that you are the one doing all the work. I felt that way too, but I now see why it is that the lap-band is so effective. When the lap-band is functioning as designed, it is an exceptionally effective tool!