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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Thank you!

Thank you all for your support yesterday. I read new comments throughout the day and it made me feel so good. A couple times I had tears in my eyes. I would love to go get that margarita, Genise. And several of you sent bad ju-ju and offers of vandalism to those people who own that rental house. Stephanie sent a private email which was so sweet. You guys are awesome and I am overwhelmed by your concern!

For the first time in a long time, I really wanted to binge last night. I had a weird dinner (crackers & peanut butter), but I managed to resist the urge to binge. Instead I read a book (Dan Brown's newest) and watched Modern Family (soooo funny!) and went to bed.

I'm getting my second fill tomorrow morning. For some reason, I am reluctant to have fills. I don't know why. Most of you are always clamoring to get another fill. I have posted about this before, but I think that my brain may be attempting to sabotage my efforts by trying to convince me that I don't need one. I know that addicts often put themselves in situations where they use and I think it is the same for me. So I have scheduled my fills as directed. I do need a fill. I don't have much restriction. Plus that 2-day liquid diet should jump-start my weight-loss.


Kristin said...

Amanda, it's totally reasonable to kind of dread getting a fill - it means your eating will be even more restricted. That's not much fun, and I never look forward to that aspect of it. (I often have a little Last Suppering going on the couple days before a fill.) The weight loss, however, is sweeeeeet. So please don't think something is wrong with you because you don't look forward to fills. This eating thing is a struggle, but we all will conquer it at our own paces. Good luck!

Sherry said...

Your last paragraph struck a chord with me. I'm not exactly chomping at the bit for a fill (my first!) either. I'm afraid of what it will do to me. The addict thing is dead on. We're food addicts. Its hard to hang up your hat and move on to better things. You've inspired me to call my P.A. I think this post is exactly what I needed.

Stephanie said...

I have to say that getting fills excited me (am I a freak?) and now that I am pretty darn near my sweet spot, I don't miss the food...and trust me, I am the queen of additive behavior. It really is empowering knowing that SLOWLY the grip that food holds on me will fade, as I learn to live my life with restriction.

Drazil said...

Well you're ALWAYS supportive to us so it was nice to give back when you needed it. Smooches.