Search This Blog

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I've been OUTED!

Every Sunday at church I have several people, mostly old ladies I don't really know, come up to me and tell me how great I look, how they can tell I've lost weight, blah blah blah. So yesterday a lady came up to me and told me I looked great and then asked if I had to do anything special or if the Band did all the work for me! WTF!?!?!? I was completely taken aback because I know I never told her about the surgery. In fact I've only told four people from church about my lap-band. So apparently the cat's out of the bag!

I can't even say how bothered I am by this. First of all, several church ladies have asked me what I'm doing and I've said I was eating less and exercising more - BOTH TRUE! But now I feel like they're going to hear about the surgery from someone and feel like I wasn't honest with them.

Second of all, who betrayed my confidence? I told my pastor who has since relocated to Ashland. I told my BFF who has been so crazy-busy this summer she's hardly been at church. And I know that she would NEVER tell anyone. I told a woman who I thought had previously had lap-band surgery, but when we spoke about it, it turns out she'd had gastric bypass. She is a friend and I told her I wasn't telling people, but I guess I wouldn't be shocked if she was the "leak". I told one other woman, another friend, who is significantly overweight. It could be her too. Both of these ladies were members of a Women's Bible Study group with me and we had a strict NO GOSSIP policy in the group. Everything that was shared was supposed to be confidential. I realize I didn't share the news in the setting of a group meeting, but I guess I still expected the privacy.

So there it is. People know. I guess it doesn't really matter, but it still bothers me.

On another topic, here's a pic of my new outfit:



The jeans are size 16 and the shirt is a large. I think it looks pretty good.

I had a nice long weekend, although I was pretty busy. Saturday we cleaned house. Sunday was my goof-off day: church, go to my mom's, take my daughters to the movies. Yesterday we went for a hike in the morning, then I came home and canned tomatoes and then I tackled all the week's laundry. At 5:00 my daughter had soccer practice and I hung around and read a book.

And then I had dinner. We had tofu and rice and I got stuck BAD! Really BAD! I was in so much pain! I PB'd a few times. It was so bad I even intentionally drank some water to induce vomiting. I don't have issues like this very often, but last night was a doozy!

A couple of hours later I had a snack. I had crackers with peanut butter and cheese. I had previously planned to have some chocolate so I had that too. I am not sure why I was eating. Usually after a bad PB and stuck episode, I'll stick to liquids and mushies. I kind of think I was rebelling a bit. It was weird. Even with the extra snacking, I only had 1,177 calories for the day. And of course some of those calories came back up (so sorry!). And I hiked up a big ole mountain. So overall, the extra food was no problem, but I don't like eating like that. It makes me feel out of control. I have had years where I felt like that and I don't want to go back there. So I try to notice whatever is going on when it happens now so I can be aware. And like I said, I think it was because I was pissed off about PB-ing and being stuck and feeling a little sorry for myself because those kind of things happen now. Not all the time, but sometimes. And maybe I was also still upset about people "knowing" at church.

I hope you all had a great weekend! I'm going to try to read some blogs today. I miss you guys!

26 comments:

tessierose said...

I'm sorry that someone betrayed your trust. That is never nice. And sorry about the stuck too, I had a bad one this weekend too. You look amazing, truly!

Band Geek said...

Oh yes, you look great in your new outfit! Your legs look very long and lean....That stinks about the gossip at church, especially when you specifically asked that it be kept quiet.

Pie said...

That's my biggest fear - that I'll continue telling people my modified, but completely true, version of things and they'll already know the truth and I'll feel like a liar. I'm sorry it happened to you; hopefully, the fact that they are all good church going ladies will keep them honest and not gossipy. Hopefully.

And if not, screw the leak - you look GORGEOUS!

Alison said...

I'd feel the same way as you do, its not nice to know that you've been spoken about behind your back.
You look amazing, you've done so well and worked so hard, don't let her take that away from you.

Pamela E. Williams said...

That is bad when your trust is betrayed. Its sad when folk don't get the hint that something should not be shared. Shrug it off and keep them at distance. As my momma says, feed them with a long handle spoon. Sad to say but they should now be put on a "need to know" basis.

Oooh the stuck thing scares the heck of of me.

I have a top in that same color and style at home. You are so pretty.

Debi said...

I am one of the bandster's that haven't tried to hide my Surgery, but since you don't want it to be known, I am soooo sorry that your trust was betrayed!!

It hurts to know that someone you thought you could trust, can't. But even worse that you don't know which one it is!!

As for the PB, I totally understand. Rice is something that I will not eat anymore. Which is why I always order all beans, no rice, for my side when I eat at Mexican Restaurants!

And I have learned the trick of drinking a bit of water to induce the vomit too!! I don't like to do it, but sometimes it is the better of two evils.

Debi said...

Hi Amanda, thanks for responding in my blog about meeting.

We should be in Eugene sometime between 10:45-11:00 on the 26th. Please E-Mail me at hawaiiboundbandster.yahoo.com and we can discuss details, like where to meet.

CHRISTINE said...

Hang in, you got your band for you and nobody else. Poo on them

Angela said...

That really sucks. I am not telling many people and that is one of my biggest fears. I am sorry you are dealing with this. And at church of all places!

Maria said...

I'll admit to the vomit-induction by water trick too -- better than hours of misery waiting for something to unstick or come out on it's own.

I'm sorry you your secret got out. So much for "no gossip," eh?

susieq4givn said...

I'm soo sorry...I know how gossip in church can be...it's always suprising because that should be the one place we are safe from it.
You look great!

Joey said...

Lame. Seriously.
But the good news is that you look great!

Cindylew said...

Having someone disappoint us always sucks.
I hope you can eventually make peace with it and move past it.
You look terrific in your new outfit.

-Grace- said...

That is redonkulous. I'm sorry someone did this.

Love the outfit, though! You look great!

The Banded Lady said...

I am so sorry about the leak at church. Losing privacy and discretion is one of my biggest peaves! People should have more courtesy and mind their own business.

Kathy said...

I understand how you feel. I have only told a few people too but after 2 1/2 years it's getting to the point that I really don't care who knows. Maybe you'll feel the same way after a while. You look great. Keep up the good work.

Drazil said...

God that's annoying - I'm so sorry about this hun.

Kristin said...

Sorry about the church thing, I'd be upset too.

The good news is, you look FANTASTIC! Congratulations.

Michelle said...

I have a blabber in the family so I know how you feel and I'm sorry.

However you look great!

Stephanie said...

You look great and don't give those gossip mongers another thought. You lost weight exactly as you said, by eating right and exercising. If those women want to be catty, let them. You know you are doing it the healthy way! :)

DB said...

Sorry this happened to you - I would be beyond pissed off too. You look really great - love the outfit!

Bianca J said...

I would be really upset too if someone betrayed my trust. You look great!

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

It is sad that people need to gossip about your personal affairs and at a church no less :( well never lose faith and I would talk to your pastor about this cause this sounds ridiculous. You look amazing and earned all the complements. I am one of your followers! I don't know how to find out since when.

Mary said...

It really bothers me when people don't keep your "secrets". When I had surgery I only told a few people but before I knew it a lot of other people knew as well, it was a bit irritating. But now, when people ask I usually tell them. There's still a few that I tell them I'm just eating less and exercising more. But you are looking awesome!! I love that color of blue on you, looks great!

Joia said...

FYI? I nominated you for an award today! Check out my latest blog post to claim your award and play along!

http://singinglapbander.blogspot.com/2010/09/awardfor-me-thanks-lena.htm

Debi said...

Hi Amanda,

I just wanted to check in with you, to see if you are still interested in meeting us for an early Lunch, on the 26th at 11:00?

If so, could you either let me know in my blog, or better yet, email me at hawaiiboundbandster@yahoo.com, so we could decide where to meet before Walt and I leave on our trip. As we may not have our computer with us, which means that I may not be able to communicate with you at the last minute.

Thanks, Debi