It's official! I am no longer obese and am now merely overweight. I started this process with a BMI of 42.6. As of today, my BMI is now 29.7. I lost 2.4 lbs. (1.1 kg.) this week, bringing me to 195.2 lbs. (88.5 kg.). I haven't weighed this amount in eight years.
As I achieve these milestones (Onderland, no longer obese), I'm finding that I am really grappling with the way I think about myself these days. Who am I if I am no longer obese? What do my kids think of me? What do others see when they see me?
I rember as a child my mother doing a diet program called Weight Loss Center. She had to weigh in at their clinic each weekday. She was allowed to eat 600 calories per day. She would have a green salad and a broiled chicken breast almost every night for dinner. I think she did the program twice and both times managed to lose down to about 160 lbs. (72.5 kg.). But when she was no longer on the program and was eating normal foods again, she always regained the weight. I don't remember ever thinking of my mother as thin, although at 160 lbs., she must have been.
When I started this process, I felt like the person I was on the inside didn't match my outward appearance. I valued health and fitness, but if someone looked at me, they wouldn't assume that were the case. In fact they'd probably assume I did not value those things. I've been a vegetarian for 18 years. I've always exercised on a regular basis. Although I've struggled with binge eating for years, my day-to-day eating was pretty normal. I probably consumed an average of 1,800-2,000 calories. Not crazy by most people's standards. But I was still fat. In fact, I was Obese Class III.
And now I'm not.
I'm really the same person I've always been. I have the same priorities and goals. I'm just very lucky to have found a way out.