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Thursday, July 15, 2010

I feel guilty for being successful

I feel guilty for being successful. I have been publishing the results of my weekly weigh-ins, as many of us do, but all of the sudden I feel weird about it. It is partly because I know that some of you have been struggling. Others are doing all the right things, but not seeing the results they want. Sometimes they post what they are eating and I know I eat more than that. The fact is I do not know why I am doing as well as I am.

I've been fat for about seven years - since the birth of my youngest daughter. I've tried countless times to lose weight during that time and it has always come off so painfully slow that I become frustrated and give up. I realize now that I was eating too much. On Weight Watchers I was probably eating 1500 - 1800 calories a day. I can lose on that, but not quickly. And any time there was a special event (like a birthday party, meal out, etc.), I wouldn't lose for the week. I don't count calories any more on a regular basis, but every once in a while I work it out in my head. I'm eating 800 -1,000 calories a day. I exercise every day by walking at least 30 minutes and I ride my bike several times a week. I also lift free weights while watching TV a few nights a week.

So does it help to know that even though I am doing well now, I've struggled in the past? Am I just being stupid or does it make people feel bad when they see others do well? The last thing I want is to make people feel bad.

So I've updated my ticker, but for this week anyway, I'm not doing a celebratory "Look at me! Aren't I awesome!" post.

Does it make you feel better to know that EVERYTHING on my body is heading south? We all think we want fast weight-loss, but it is not without it's saggy, saggy price!

23 comments:

TracyZ said...

Absolutely NEVER feel bad about posting your successes. You should be able to yell from the rooftops (or blog in ALL CAPS) about how great you are doing. We all have our good days, weeks, and months. When we have them - we should be really, really proud!!

Drazil said...

Successes like yours inspire people who are struggling to keep going. NO guilt - you deserve every celebration for every pound you've earned!

CHRISTINE said...

Celebrate every day. i want to see a "look at me" post!

Sandy Lee said...

I too have to say, NEVER (in caps) feel one iota of guilt for losing. We are so inspired by those we follow. It is what makes this blogger world so wonderful. We can celebrate and have everyone cheer us on. Unlike the fake people we sometimes meet in real life. So I have to say, you go girl, because it makes us all happy to see success.

Amy said...

NEVER feel guilty! First of all, you are working really hard for those results. Second, you haven't been heavy very long, compared to a lot of us. Third, and most importantly, your success inspires others. It makes us want to work harder. It makes us realize that we, too, can do this.

You have earned every pound you have lost. Celebrate them! We certainly do!

amandakiska said...

I lost 40 lbs. or so a couple other times in my life. Once in my late teens and once after my first daughter was born. Other that that I managed to maintain a normal weight until 7 years ago. But I was ALWAYS crazy around food. I binged, I purged, I starved, I exercised compulsively. I didn't mean to sound like this hasn't been a problem for a long, long time! Thank you all for your support!

Pie said...

You should definitely celebrate your success but I do understand how you're feeling. There are so many terminal dieters in my office and they've all been commenting on my weight loss. I worry that they're beating themselves up for not being successful while someone similar to them seems to be finally getting a hold of their weight problems. One by one, I plan on pulling the most sensitive of the ladies aside and telling them my secret. I just have to be careful.

As for those of us who are banded, I agree with what was said by Draz above: sharing your success actually helps those who are stalled! It's true inspiration and it's of vital importance.

So CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR LOSS!! You inspire me greatly!

Sherry said...

Good lord don't feel bad for your success! It's awesome that you are losing at the rate you are! Be proud of it. It's inspiring (most of the time). I say that because yes, sometimes I get frustrated when I see that others are doing so well and I'm having a hard time because I just don't understand WHY -- BUT here is the thing -- you've kind of cleared it up for me a little. You said you've only been overweight for 7 years...see, my metabolism is shot to hell. I have been overweight and dieting since I was 10. No joke. At 10 I did Weight Watchers. At 12 I did Jenny Craig. I've been fighting this my WHOLE LIFE. Doesn't make my journey any more valid, but certainly makes me wonder if maybe your metabolism isn't as crappy as mine, KWIM?

Girl, you go with your bad self. Live it up!

workinprogress said...

Celebrate!!!! Shout it from the roof tops!

Here in band land - we take pride in your success too :)

Jacquie said...

Do not ever feel guilty Amanda! You are doing fantastic and you are an inspiration to me and alot of others!

Jacquie said...

My word verification was "flableg"...just thought I'd share.

Cindylew said...

No Guilt...pride is all that's allowed here.
You inspire those of us who struggle. Keep it up.

Bonnie said...

I agree with all others that success is inspiring. We might hate you for a second, but it passes quickly and we are happy for you a lot longer. :)

Amaris said...

I have to agree with EVERYONE else who posted! Absolutely be proud and celebrate your successes! If it's a problem for me (and I only speak for myself), it's my problem; it absolutely shouldn't be yours. Reading blogs and LBT posts has been what finally convinced me that I could/would do this. I appreciate everyone's honesty about the experience -- the stalls and the losses!

You're doing so well ... Keep it up and be proud!

PS Thanks for the absolution for my planned pre-op diet transgressions. You made me smile big!

Dalia said...

ALWAYS Celebrate!! You are an inspiration to me and when I am down, I read your posts. I always want to see the Look at me posts. Keep it up girl!

Seeing in colour said...

be proud dont hold back!!!

Tina said...

yup-you should celebrate. We are all different. We all lose at different weights. Some of us have stuck patches while others hits fast runs. It is what it is..and we should ALL celebrate each and every positive step along the way.

Blogs are no guilt zones...now you can tell us about guilty pleasures at home for sure :)

Tina

Michelle said...

I think you should celebrate and feel good about your loss. Everyone is different some will lose quick others will lose slowly but we will all get to were we want to be. So go ahead celebrate! :)

Aunt Janet said...

CELEBRATE, It encourages the rest of us!

Stephanie said...

Never feel bad posting about your successes. You have earned each and every lost lb and it is something to be celebrated and trust me, it INSPIRES the rest of us. We all hit plateaus and it's important to know that we can and will move past it. I'm one of those girls in Plateauville, but reading about your success (along with other bloggers) helps keep me motivated to keep on keepin' on!

tessierose said...

You are one of my absolute favorite bloggers, I feel connected to you on so many levels. To watch you succeed brings real hope to me. Thank you!

ChristineKingery said...

Celebrate every single victory! Even when I'm feeling down about my own lack of success, I get motivated to hear that other people are doing well. This tells me: IT IS POSSIBLE. It keeps me going. So shout it from the rooftops and celebrate! (Even still, I think it's telling of how compassionate you are that you are concerned about the feelings of other people. This tells me what a beautiful person you are on the inside.)
Christine
www.phoenixrevolution.net

CeeJay said...

Never, ever, ever feel bad about success! Each of us has to find our own path with this weight loss thing, and we will have ups and downs. Success is contageous, it helps me analyze "what can I change" and ask myself am I being honest and giving it my all. You are doing great, keep it up! Celebrate every milestone!!!!