No food police needed

At any given time, there are approximately 10,000 food “rules” running through my mind: Drink 64 oz. of water a day. Eat 9 servings of fruit and vegetables. Eat whole grains. Avoid sweets. Avoid fats. Eat lots of soy. Don’t eat trans fats. Don’t eat fast food. Avoid fried foods. Don’t drink soda. Don’t eat foods and drinks made with artificial sweeteners. Don’t eat red meat. It takes more calories to chew celery than it has in it. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Avoid fats that are solid at room temperature. Don’t eat movie theater popcorn. Green veggies are healthier than white veggies. Don’t eat pizza with cheese and meat. Avoid caffeine. Don’t eat too much seafood (mercury). Don’t eat eggs. Eat eggs every day. Drink a glass of wine every day. Choose olive oil. Don’t eat processed foods. Eat blueberries (antioxidants). Don’t use too much salt. Drink orange juice (folic acid). Don’t eat dairy. Eat nuts before dinner. Don’t eat veal. Avoid organ meats. Eat yogurt with active cultures. Don’t eat chips.

And now that I am banded, I can add a few more: Chew food 30 times before swallowing. Don’t drink for 30 minutes after meals. Watch out for high calorie drinks that can sabotage weight loss. Watch out for bread, pizza, bagels, hot dogs and other foods that aren’t band-friendly. Eat at least 50 grams of protein a day. Eat no more than 3 meals a day. Don’t eat more than a cup and a half of food per meal. Eat protein first. Take a daily multi-vitamin. Don’t eat “sliders”. Take small bites.

So with all this information in my mind at any given moment, you can believe that I do not need anyone looking at what I am eating and making “helpful” comments about whether or not I “should” be eating that particular food. In fact, many a binge has been triggered by the “food police”. If there exists a food law, believe me, I am well-aware of it and do not need someone to point it out to me.