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Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm sorry for telling you what to do

Lately I've been kind of preachy in my commenting and I'm sorry.  I guess my thinking is that I love when people comment on my blog, but I really appreciate the comments with substance.  You know the ones - not just a generic compliment, but something from the commenter's personal experience or a thoughtful reflection on something I've written.

I want to encourage the discouraged and support the unsupported, but if I come across as bossy I don't think I'm doing my job. 

The fact is that I want to fix things for you.  I want to help.  I want to share my experience, strength and hope.  I also want to shield myself from your struggles.  I don't want to fail.  I don't want to stumble and fall.  And I know that if YOU can struggle, there is nothing keeping ME from having the same problems.

So instead of accepting that, I come up with a list of suggestions of things I would do if I were in your shoes.  But I know that sometimes the last thing a person needs when they're struggling is another list of things to do.  And I'm not in your shoes.  I don't have all the answers. 

So I hope you haven't written me off because I really have good intentions and I need your support.

23 comments:

Amanda said...

I like to read several different blogs for exactly this reason. To get each persons point of view! I may not always agree with everyone but the reason I keep reading is SOMETHING has been helpful to me! Keep writing, I am reading!

Lynda said...

No need to apologize to me. I don't care if people are opinionated and tell me what to do. I just don't want anyone judging me for my decisions. (and that's just a generic statement...not aimed at anyone in particular)

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

Sometimes it needs to be said. Love your blog!

Kristin said...

I love hearing what you have to say, Amanda. Keep 'em coming!

Blossom said...

I've only ever had supportive comments from you and I appreciate them. I don't feel you're harsh or bossy. But I think some people can be sensitive.

Maria said...

I've never found you to be preachy! You can't please all of the people all of the time, right? :)

Tina said...

Heck I worry about that all the time :) Perhaps we all do? I think the fact that we read other blogs and craft those opinions in the comments helps us plan ahead and work through and prepare ourselves for our own trials and tribulations. I for example thought i was going along just fine and then whammo..stressing out over a measly pound. I think you are right through-That pound stands for every weightloss effort I have failed at and I have failed at each and every one until now.

So basically...Keep those opinionated comments coming. The DO HELP!!!

~Lisa~ (Mrs C) said...

Tell on, my Friend! I love receiving your comments to my posts - you're always so helpful, so encouraging, and you always give me a lift - thank you!

My prayer before commenting on others posts is that I be helpful, encouraging, and give a smile when I can. This life stuff is hard enough, I hope that I can lift someones spirits this day - as you have done for me! Thank you!

Heather said...

Amanda, I have always enjoyed your comments to my posts. Keep 'em coming girl!

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

I love reading your comments. Obviously, you know what your are doing regarding the band, so I would be an idiot not to lister to you! You are a huge asset to blogland :)

Annie said...

I agree- your comments are very helpful, and your perspective as a successful bandster is very appreciated.

Libby said...

Amanda,
Yours is one of my favorite blogs and most informative as well. As a newbie to my band, I find the things you write about incredibly helpful to my journey. I also appreciate your comments to my blog, so keep em comin' sister!

Justawallflower said...

I love and look forward to your comments! so, thank you for that, and I hope that at least one of my comments to you is as insightful or helpful as yours are! keep em comin!

Neglected Foster Child said...

I don't feel you're preachy. Just honest. No need to apologize for saying what you intend to get across. If the interpreter does a lousy job, you can't feel responsible for that.

Rachel said...

I really really appreciate all your advice and posts on my blog. Frankly I need the advice. Sometimes I don't know what to expect and the uncertainty of being unable to lose this weight really "weighs" on me. You have been successful and you have given me context.

Christine said...

You've never been bossy with ME, personally, but I know just what you mean. I think I come across as bossy in my posts sometimes too. I just want to HELP, you know? I hope you continue doing what you're doing though. It's substance that counts in the long run.
Christine
www.phoenixrevolution.net

Fiona said...

boss away, sometimes I need a good kick up the butt!

Lonicera said...

I feel just the same - I feel strongly about things, but I'm trying to help, not preach. And sometimes I'm trying to phrase it lightly, with a laugh in the tail, and it doesn't always work. It's so easy to be misconstrued when you write isn't it? I've never found anything at all to object in anything you write.
Caroline

Gen said...

Preach on Sister! Your comments and perspectives are so valuable.

Sherry said...

Oh PUH-LEASE! We all love you. Heart you big time!!! I love comments that tell me to get off my ass. No one else does it b/c they are scared of me in real life. I have to rely on my virtual peeps!

LDswims said...

That's funny. I'm gonna be completely honest here and it's two-fold.

1) I absolutely love your comments. I think you and I think a lot alike and more often than not, your comments are my thoughts, your blog feels a lot like it's my own. I always appreciate your comments.

2) I noticed you were getting preachy. :) And, for me, there was one particular comment you left on my blog that did irritate me ever so slightly. I made a statement in my blog about having learned something. I don't remember the blog or the comment or the situation at this point, although, if you want specifics, I can go find it. Anyway, in making this statement, I was showing, or so I thought, what I had learned and the new perspective accordingly. And in your comment it made me feel like I'd learned nothing, I had a very limited perspective and that I needed help. It was a bit off-putting as, like I said above, I usually think a lot like you. So when you were "teaching" me, in a case where I was making a statement, not asking a question, it kind of hurt.

Nonetheless, I got over it and moved on. And I still love you to pieces - your opinions, your perspective and you.

And if you hadn't written this blog, I would never have said anything. :) But since you wrote the blog, I figure I'll share my own personal story.

I always love your comments - and your opinions and your perspective. You are a star bandster, to me, and I hope you will always share your viewpoint.

CHRISTINE said...

OK you have over 200 followers I think you are doing a good job. I love your comments, Thank you

Cindylew said...

Wow...I guess I picked a good time to take a posting hiatus...just kidding. You can preach to me any day of the week.