There is HOPE!

I read a lot of blogs.  They are pretty much all about weight loss.  Most of them are written by people who, like me, have had WLS are or in the process of getting there.  I read one yesterday that broke my heart.

I don't think I'm going to link to the blog here because I don't want to connect this person to the things I'm about to say.  I want to start by saying that I once believed as she does.  I once felt responsible and ashamed of my obesity.  But I don't feel that way any longer.

The blog author had had a horrific experience related to her obesity.  I don't want to be too specific, but the gist was how could she let herself get into that situation.  And her public flogging was intended to shock her into finally doing something about it.

How often have we heard thin people, after looking at an obese person, wonder, "How does someone let themselves get that way?".  How often have we, the obese and overweight, looked at someone even more obese and more overweight and thought the same thing?  Don't we feel secretly superior when we see someone who is significantly overweight?  How often have we thought, "Well, I may be fat, but I'd never let myself get THAT fat!". 

THIS HAS TO STOP NOW!  The public floggings, the feelings of superiority, the disdain, the shame, all of it ends here.  (Oh, if only it were that simple!)

I'm not talking about discrimination of fat people right now so much as I am talking about the inner belief that we are somehow "less than" because we are (or were) obese.  Fat people aren't stupid, they aren't lazy, they do care about their health, their children, their futures.  But we internalize these beliefs and we hurt ourselves in the process.  We do things like post about our humiliation and beg the world to learn from our example of how NOT to be.  We are cautionary tales.

I've talked many times about my anger and frustration at this system that tells us that all we need to do is go on a diet and exercise and we will be thin.  I probably sound like a broken record.  If you are tired of hearing it, feel free to scan to the bottom of this post, admire how foxy I'm looking and move on.  'Cause I gotta say it again!

Diets don't work.  Unless what you are trying to do is gain weight.  Then they work GREAT!  We have all dieted and lost weight and stopped dieting and gained it back.  And then some.  This phenomena is so profound that I believe it is irresponsible of a doctor to suggest a diet.  But I recognize that they don't really know what to do either.

Of course everyone assumes that diets don't work because it is the dieter that doesn't work them.  We are the problem, right?  If we just followed the diet for the rest of our life, everything would be fine.  

But naturally thin people don't eat like that.  They don't usually diet.  We've all sat down for a lovely dinner with our thin friends and watched them pig out on everything in sight while we pick away at our salad.  Why can thin people eat cookies and salad dressing and bread and cheese and we can't?  Naturally thin people eat the way that feels, well, natural to them.  In general they eat all foods in moderation and they don't eat when they aren't hungry. 

I like to watch my youngest daughter eat.  She loves sweets and junk food, but when she's had enough, she stops eating.  Even if it is cake.  Even if it ice cream.  Even if it is candy.  She eats a few bites of each of the foods in her meals.  A little protein, a little starch, a little vegetables, some milk.  And then she's full and she stops eating.  I never ate like that until I was banded and even now I sometimes want to keep eating even after my band tells me to stop.  But I know if I keep going, the band will give me consequences.  So I stop.

I needed the gastric band to give me what naturally thin people automatically have.  I'm not sure why I wasn't able to learn these skills without surgery.  Maybe it is because no one tried to teach me.  They were too busy telling me to go on a diet.  And I didn't figure it out until I had the band and could SEE what I had previously been missing.  I was missing that inner voice that told me to stop eating because I was full.  I also lacked the ability to be mindful as I ate, to eat slowly, chew thoroughly and to take small bites.  The gastric band has given me all of these skills. 

To prove that this is hope, I am posting my "before" picture and a "now" picture.  The first shows me at 280 lbs. (127 kg.).  It was taken less than a year ago, in December.  The second picture is me now at 193.6 lbs. (87.8 kg.).  I am 13.4 lbs. (6.1 kg.) from goal.