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The other day I picked my fella up from a local micro-brewery (Why yes, we do live in Oregon where there is pretty much a micro-brewery on every corner.). This is his DREAM JOB and he is hoping they will hire him even though he just got another job somewhere else. He goes in every two weeks or so when they bottle the beer to help out. They pay him in beer - lol.
Most people who work at micro-breweries are men in their late 20's - early 40's or so. They are typically hipster-types who spend their weekends snowboarding. So I pulled up and parked in the parking lot. I got out of the car and walked over to where Matthew (my fella) and the brewmaster were standing. "Hey beautiful!", Matthew says upon seeing me. I go over and they pour me a beer. We drink and chat for a bit and then we leave.
I imagine how this scenario would have been a year ago. I weighed 280 lbs. (127 kg.) then. I would have felt really uncomfortable walking up to a strange man, especially one so "cool". I would have imagined that Matthew was ashamed that such a big woman was his partner. I don't imagine him saying, "Hi beautiful!" as a greeting, but if he had, I would have thought the other man would be secretly laughing at the idea of me as beautiful.
I asked Matthew after the fact if he felt good seeing me so much thinner walking up in moments like that. He replied that he always thought I was sexy, even when I was big.
I told him that was a good answer.
7 comments:
It's always amazed me how my husband never seemed to care... really? But, I REALLY think he didn't. I guess we have such a hard time with it because we care so much about how we look - how is it possible that someone we spend our lives with just doesn't care??? But, when you find a good one, they love you no matter what. Glad you have a good one!
That is a great NSV...and I think it is wonderful that you have some one great in your life that loves you unconditionally and always sees your beauty. That is true love.
Getting to know you on your blog...I know you have a lot of inner beauty, as well as your outer beauty and hotness. Have a great holiday...thank you for sharing!
"I would have felt really uncomfortable walking up to a strange man, especially one so "cool". I would have imagined that Matthew was ashamed that such a big woman was his partner. I don't imagine him saying, "Hi beautiful!" as a greeting, but if he had, I would have thought the other man would be secretly laughing at the idea of me as beautiful."
Isn't it funny how we spend almost all our time imagining how others are viewing us? I can't wait to stop thinking about that and to stop doubting my own husband when he tells me that I'm "beautiful" and/or "cute." Oh...the freedom of thindom!
We're harder on ourselves than men are. But you've definitely got a keeper! I lost a lot of weight several years ago and pestered my husband to admit I was "sexier." He refused. It pissed me off. I ended up gaining it all back plus a lot more. Now I realize he was a smart SMART man. LMAO. j/k. I honestly believe he meant it. He loved me the same and thought of me as pretty, hot, sexy, whatever no matter what size I was. It's hard to believe, but I've been with him for 13 years and I can honestly say he's been the same level of attracted to me no matter what size I am. It's me who has a problem with it.
And, yet again, I see the abbreviation NSV, and I still don't know what it means. Can someone comment on my blog and tell me? Please.
Awww. :-) I totally understand. I had lunch with my husband at his office yesterday and I felt the same way.
Very good answer. I know totally how you feel. Not quite there yet with feeling good about myself, but hope to be there in 2011.
I totally understand. I used to absolutely HATE it if I had to go to Mr. Husband's work for anything... especially if it required walking into th building by myself. This most recent homecoming from deployment was the first time I've ever walked in the building without freaking out... and it still wasn't easy. Maybe by next homecoming I will be to a point whre I don't even worry about it. :)
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