I weighed again today and all is well. I am down a pound (.45 kg.) since last week. I can stop freaking out now. Thank you all for talking me off the ledge. I knew you were right, but I was surprised by how quickly all those old fears and doubts came rushing back.
So I need to create a new ticker. I have set a new goal to lose 16.6 (7.5 kg.) more pounds, which will bring me to a normal BMI. But I'm not quite ready to part with being at goal. Also I suspect it is going to take a while to get there. I've only lost 2 lbs. (.9 kg.) so far this month. I lost 6.4 lbs. (2.9 kg.) in November. Nothing has changed in my routine so I believe it is just a natural slowing down. Eventually the weight loss will stop at whatever weight my body feels is a good spot for me, I guess. I can only hypothesise about that part of this process. I've certainly never eaten so "normally" in my life. I'm not dieting so when I reach goal I won't change anything. In theory I'll maintain whatever weight I end up at.
To completely change the subject, I can't believe Christmas is a week away. I am sad to see that it is so soon. What I really love is Christmastime. I adore the music, the lights, the general festive atmosphere and spirit. The actual day is nice, but I'm always sad because it means it is almost over. This is one of the reasons that I always take a week off after Christmas. It gives me something to look forward to.
I've also been thinking about the new year. I'm not one to set resolutions or anything, but I do hope that 2011 is a better year than 2010 has been. There have been several instances in this past year where things could have gone the good way or the bad way and they always went the bad way. Most of them have to do with finances. This year has been filled with disappointments, more than any other year of my life. It has really taken its toll on my spirit, I'm afraid.
Of course the WLS and weight loss is the one shiny beacon of positivity that shines through 2010 and I am so happy about that. I feel like my issue with weight and food has been a major struggle for practically my entire life and now I've finally found a solution. It gives me hope to know that if this formerly major problem can be resolved, the others ones can someday as well.