Week #7 Weigh In

I decided to weigh in a day early this week. You might recall that last week’s weigh in wasn’t good. This was due to hormones and not because I’d done anything wrong, but it still left me feeling really discouraged. I know this is how my body loses weight. If I eat well and exercise, I can count on losses three weeks a month, but on that fourth week, I’m going to gain. I may just skip that weigh-in altogether because it sure does a number on my head. But I digress. I weighed in a day early because I have my first fill this afternoon and I didn’t want to get on a strange scale at the doctor’s office and go off in a cycle of despair if I didn’t like what I saw. I know that we weigh differently on different scales and throughout the day so now I’ll have my “real” weight from my morning weigh-in. I was down three pounds from my weigh in two weeks ago (3.8 from last week, but that doesn’t count since I’d already lost that .8 lbs.). Altogether I am down 27.2 lbs. (12.4 Kg).

I am right on the cusp of some major accomplishments. I am .8 lbs from hitting 10%. I am 2.8 lbs. from 30 lbs. lost. I am also 2.8 lbs. away from being SMALLER THAN MY FELLA.

I have also broken through a weight-loss barrier. In the last seven years (the time that I’ve really had to struggle for weight loss a.k.a. my 30’s), I have lost 25 lbs. on two occasions. The last time it took me six months to lose that much. Of course I gained that weight back both times, but I guess I knew I could lose 25 lbs. if I really, really worked at it. With my lap band, I’ve lost 27.2 lbs. in just under seven weeks. I have been working at it, but so has my band. I am completely confident that THIS IS GOING TO WORK FOR ME! Please remind me that I said that when I hit a plateau.

So onto Fill #1. I am going to see Dr. Kelly Fitzpatrick, a naturopathic physician who has an office in Portland and an office in Eugene. I hope this fill will accomplish one thing. I have been getting hungry about every two hours. I usually eat breakfast at 10:00 AM and lunch around noon. Between 2:00 and 3:00, I am hungry AGAIN. I have been drinking my protein drinks or having a piece of fruit, but it is frustrating to be hungry so often. Yesterday I had a really high calorie lunch – a three cheese bagel sandwich. I ate half of it and was quite full (B.B. (before band) I would have eaten the whole thing PLUS a bag of chips). I figured the calorie content for half at 320. At 2:00 my stomach was rumbling away so I ate ¼ more of the sandwich. This wasn’t part of my plan for the day.

I am planning to write more this afternoon. I was given a couple of awards and I want to report on my fill. Talk to you then!

Facebook

A while ago, I started a Facebook page about lap bands. If you are FB user, please consider becoming a fan of my page:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&gid=308738970395

Also if you'd like to friend me on FB, send me a request. My name is Amanda Wooldridge.

Support Needed!

Grace is having surgery tomorrow and could use some support. Here is her information:

http://graces-fat-chance.blogspot.com

Fat is a family affair

Bryn, Caelyn, cousin Emily
I have two beautiful daughters. Caelyn, my oldest, is nine years old. Bryn will be seven on April 12th. They are both intelligent, happy children. Being a mother is probably the single-most wonderful thing in my life. I really don’t want to mess it up!

Bryn is a normal eater 100%. She is a little bitty thing. She eats when she is hungry and stops when she is full. She loves sweets and fattening foods, but she won’t finish them.

Caelyn is like me. Or rather she is like I was at age nine. She is bigger than most of her classmates. She is the tallest girl in her class. She isn’t fat, but she has a little tummy and she is starting to develop a bit. She also loves food. A few months ago she got in trouble for stealing 13 candy bars from the vending machine stock at my office. When I was her age, I used to steal change from my dad’s dresser and go to the neighborhood store and buy candy.

I’ve always tried to encourage my kids to eat well and exercise. They both play sports and are vegetarians. I have talked to them about making sure they are eating because they are hungry. I’ve also told them that only they can decide what to eat. Oftentimes if they will ask for a sweet, I will remind them of something they will be having later and encourage them to decide what they want. For example, if we are going to a birthday party where there will be cake and they want to have a cookie or something earlier in the day, I tell them to choose one or the other. I think that when kids get to make those choices themselves, it teaches them to make good choices when they are adults. I also model regular exercise habits and prepare balanced meals. We seldom eat fast food and their lunches at school are brought from home. We always have lots of fruits and vegetables at home and my girls know they can have them whenever they want. They don’t need to ask for a healthy snack.

I can’t help projecting my own issues on Caelyn. I never say anything about her shape, but I think about it every time I look at her. I don’t want her to become self-conscious or to head down the diet path that I went down. After all, I truly believe that diets are responsible for distorting my relationship with food so much that I now don’t even know what is normal eating and what is abnormal eating. It kills me that I’ve passed on my problem to her.

Even as I write this posting, I wonder if I’ll put it up. I’m truly ashamed of myself for harming my daughter in this way. If I knew specifically what it was that I’ve done, I’d stop, but I don’t. Maybe it is just the result of having a compulsive eater for a mother. If so, I hope that she will see my recovery as a model to follow. My own mother is overweight and has been all of my life. She also tried hard to serve healthful meals in our home. She made pretty much everything from scratch when I was growing up. We seldom had soda or fast food. She even baked homemade French fries in the oven to go with our homemade hamburgers (served on slices of bread instead of buns). We always had salads and another vegetable with dinner. We also ate dinner together at the dinner table every night.

When I was pregnant, I really wanted to have daughters – just like the home I grew up in. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful children. I want them to have peaceful, happy lives. I don’t want either of them to go down this road that I’ve taken.

You Guys Are Incredible!

I was reading through the responses that you'd posted to my blog entry yesterday and was overwelmed by how supportive everyone is here in Blogland. Thank you so much for all your suggestions and words of encouragement. I also really appreciate you sharing your own experiences. I know it is sometimes difficult to talk about these issues, but you are all so honest and open.

I had a very active day yesterday, something I am trying to do more and more these days. I always start my morning by taking my dog for a walk before work. I was planning to ride my bike to work so we only walked for 10 minutes. Then I rode my bike the three miles to work (did I mention it was pouring down rain?). During my workday, I ended up going to Costco for an hour. After work I rode home and then my husband and I went grocery shopping at Winco. I always write my exercise down in my little food journal. This morning I was curious about how many calories I burned so I went to www.healthstatus.com/cgi-bin/calc/calculator.cgi to see. I estimated that I burned 600 calories. This is what the calculator came up with:

10 minutes walking = 84 calories burned (CB)
150 minutes shopping = 829 CB
50 minutes cycling = 844 CB

Grand total = 1,757! Holy cow! I only ate 1,265 calories yesterday. I also got in 74 grams of protein. Not a bad day, all in all!

This is Why I Quit

For the last seven years, my dieting efforts have been thwarted by a really slow metabolism. I’ve blogged before that after my second daughter was born, I joined Weight Watchers and dutifully followed the program for six weeks. I didn’t lose one ounce. I was so frustrated. Perhaps the worst thing was going in each week for the weigh in and getting on the scale and then trying to explain to the lady behind the counter why the number hadn’t budged. I didn’t understand it myself, but I couldn’t stand the idea that this person was judging me and thinking, “Yea, right.” as she smiled sweetly and recorded my weight on the little booklet.

In retrospect I realize that the pregnancy hormones were probably responsible for the trouble I had. The thing is that it doesn’t work that way for every woman. Lots of women lose weight really quickly after giving birth. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read that woman who breast feed lose weight effortlessly.

I quit WW and didn’t try again for a couple of years. Fortunately my weight loss speed increased a bit with subsequent efforts, but not much. When I was trying to lose weight, I developed a pattern that went something like this:

Week #1 -1.5
Week #2 +2
Week #3 -1
Week #4 -1.5
Net loss 2 lbs.

I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not. I also wish that during Week #2 I’d had a bunch of pie and cookies and fried foods to explain the increase, but, alas, I did not. I would follow the exact same food plan from week to week and diligently follow the rules and eating guidelines. I would also exercise regularly.
Once again I would have to say the culprit is hormones. That second week of the month is about 7-10 days from my TOM. It usually is also marked by irritability and a smattering of pimples. Being a woman is such a joy.

All this is a really long explanation of why I didn’t see good news on the scale this morning even though I’ve been eating consistently well and have increased my exercise in the last week or so. In my head I know that it is hormones and that I am not doing anything “wrong” and that I shouldn’t give up. I know that my lap band really is working and that I shouldn’t add it to the long list of diet failures that I’ve experienced in the past. Just last night, I couldn’t finish my dinner and tossed part of it in the compost. And yesterday I didn’t finish an ice tea that tasted too sweet. I know in my head that I have lost 24+ lbs. in seven weeks, which is a much faster rate than I’ve lost in the last seven years. I also know that next week, I will get on the scale and see the numbers go down again.

It just seems like a really long time from now. I can’t even call it “bandster hell” since I do feel restriction, although not as much as I had a few weeks ago. Maybe I’ll call it “Amanda hell” since it seems exclusive to me.

So, once again, thank you for coming to my pity party. Believe me, I wanted to complain about a bunch more stuff too, but I’m actually restraining myself. I’m going to end by saying STUPID F-ING HORMONES!!!!

Wow 61!

I am overwelmed to have 61 followers. I have received so much support and help from all of you. Thank you so much! Also please check out my newest follower, Butterfly. She was banded 2/15/10 so just a few days after I was. Welcome!