Band relocated!

This is a picture that I took looking down so it is actually up-sidedown from your perspective (unless you're standing on your head right now, and if you are WTF?).

So I had my band put back into its original place.  My band had slipped and my stomach had done some wacky BS.  I didn't really have any major symptoms with the slippage, except for belching that kind of smelled gross.  So when people saw the x-rays of my stomach they were kind of alarmed.  I guess it was alarming to them the way my stomach was doing weird things. (Sorry about all of the scientific jargon).

But as I said, I could eat and didn't have any major symptoms.  No vomiting.  Weight holding steady around 170.  I had to travel about 100 miles from Eugene to Portland to a surgeon who would see me since my band was placed in Mexico.  It took about three months from upper-GI day until surgery day last week.  The enormous bruise you see in the picture is because my stomach was damaged pretty severely, apparently. 

Since surgery, I am a total mess.  I can hardly drink, I was nauseated for the first four days, and parts of every day since.  I can't eat.  I have lost about 14 lbs.  I'm in the 150s, which is just bizarre.  I'm back at work because I have one of those shitty jobs that doesn't give me much time off.  I have zero energy.  I'm sure I am dehydrated.  I end up puking or spitting up most of what I swallow.  I've stopped taking all of my medications because they seem to make things worse.

The weird thing is that the incisions are no big deal, even with the monster bruise. If I could eat and drink, I would feel just fine.  My surgeon is worried about motility issues.  They noted during the upper-GI that nothing was really moving through my system.  In surgery, my doctor said there was a ton of food in there, both above and below the band.  So I am hoping things will get better real fucking quick because I seriously have zero energy and I'm tired of running to the sink or bathroom to spit up (or opening my car door at stop lights because my mouth has filled with bile).  I didn't feel like I had motility issues before really, other than the belching which may be related to GERD.  I had regular BMs, I could eat anything, I was seldom hungry.  Now I can't even drink a cup of coffee :(

Do any of you have experience with this sort of thing?  I've tried to do some research, but there doesn't seem to be a lot out there.  I'm feeling really alone.  Although I look really fabulous (except that I didn't do my hair).  Don't you agree?

Oh, and the best part?  My new surgeon's name is Dr. Mattar.  If you are a Spanish-speaker like me, you know that "matar" in Spanish is "to kill".  He's awesome, really, despite the unfortunate name (and he isn't Hispanic - he's Egyptian actually).  He's at OHSU in Portland, Oregon and he gave me his cell phone number.  He also called me personally on Monday to see how I was doing. 

Hey!

Does anyone remember me?  I am still around, although I haven't posted here in a very long time.  I have been quietly continuing to do my thing.  I'm still at goal.  I'll be five years post-op this coming February.

But apparently my band has slipped.  It did it without much fanfare.  I've haven't felt sick or had any major problems except I have had a lot of smelly belching.  An upper GI scan confirmed the diagnosis.

Since it isn't an emergency, there is a chance they can go in and put it right again.  Right now I am jumping through all sorts of hoops.  I have had an EKG (which has to be followed up by a cardiologist because it was abnormal). I see a nutritionist next week. I had blood work done.  I also must have a psych-exam to make sure I'm sane enough for weight-loss surgery, I guess.  A little late, right?  Since I went to Mexico for my first surgery, I didn't really have to do any of this stuff before so it is kind of strange.

It is also very expensive and all of the appointments are in Portland, about 100 miles from my home in Eugene, Oregon.  So I'm taking time from work, spending money on gas, and hoping it will all be resolved soon.  I do not believe my insurance will cover converting the band to a sleeve so I will either end up band-less or the band will be put back into its place.

Yesterday when I scheduled the nutritionist appointment, I was told, "You have to meet with them to see if you have been following instructions.  They have to test you before your surgery can be authorized."  Test me?   I was pretty upset after the phone call.  It was very dehumanizing.  I'm not sure if she was trying to suggest it was my fault the band had slipped or if  s̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶c̶h̶  she chose her words poorly. 

It has also occurred to me to simply leave the band the way it is.  It continues to work well for me.  They even took all of the fluid out, but it is positioned in such a way that it didn't make a difference. The belching is pretty gross, though, and all the stomach acid disturbs my sleep.  It isn't acid reflux in that it doesn't come up into my throat, but it does gurgle around and I have to burp to feel normal.

Here's a recent picture so you can remember what I look like. 

I have a new blog!  Here's my most recent post. 

New Blog!

If anyone is still following me, I've started a new, non-Lap Band blog.  Follow it if you'd like!  http://amandakiska1.blogspot.com/

What's fair is fair

I have two jobs.  I work full-time for a company and I also own my own company with my sister.  My sister is also an employee of the company that I work for.  I love her very much.  She's a good sister and I even like working with her.

But...

I do WAY more of the work than she does.

WAY more.

The Olympic Track & Field Trials will be held in Eugene, Oregon later this month.  One of the things that we've done since 2008 is work with a sorority house on the campus of the University of Oregon to book their rooms for various track and field events, including the Olympic Trials.  This is a client of our own company (not the one for which we are employees).  I have done 80% of the bookings and work for this event.  At least 80%.  Maybe more.  Is it wrong to think that I should get more than half the proceeds from the event?  Actually I don't think I should get paid more than she does.  I just think it isn't fair.

We also have several clients that we work for on a year-round basis.  Last year we had two clients, but we added three new clients around the first of the year.  ALL of the new people, all of them, were people that I have relationships with.  They are all people who signed on because of me.  I'm also the only one who is licensed to do the work we do (property management) so I have to deal with all the government BS for licensing and following the many, many rules they have about how things are done.  I have to complete 30 hours of continuing education every two years. 

She has been trying to step up in the accounting and other work that we have to do.  I guess I'd just like some appreciation that she is reaping rewards that are not necessarily in line with how much work she does.  I doubt she sees that.

I also do more at the company we work for as employees.  I wish I could say that to our boss sometimes.  I know that he appreciates me and probably that he recognizes that I do more work and am a more reliable employee.  Maybe a nice raise or a bonus would help :)

BTW we are going to Disneyland later this summer.  The trip is mostly being paid for with funds earned from the Olympic Track & Field bookings at the sorority.  I'm excited!

Update, Amanda-style!

Hello Blogland!

Look, I'm posting two days in a row!  In a comment on my last post, someone suggested that I talk about things that are going on in my life like work, kids, etc. to give me something to write about (other than how I have nothing to write about).

This is a picture of my daughter.  She was in a soccer tournament over Memorial Day weekend.  She plays goalie.  I am pretty crazy about this kid!  She is playing for a new team the spring.  I have a lot of pain and hurt feelings about her last team which seems really nuts to me and I've thought about writing about it, but it seemed too complicated and I kept telling myself I should get over it.  Maybe writing about it will help.  Caelyn has played for the same team since first grade.  She's in 5th grade now.  Last summer we received an email that the coach and one of the parents had had a falling out and the assistant coach was wanting to combine the team with another team.  Wanting the best for everyone, I agreed to go along.  I felt badly for the old coach.  He had given so much to the team and to Caelyn and he was essentially being squeezed out.  Caelyn had to "try out" for the new team, which was very stressful, but everyone made the team who came to the tryouts from the two teams that were merging.

As it turns out, the new coach's daughter plays the same position as Caelyn, goalie.  We weren't worried about it because Caelyn is a really good goalie and they both played other positions too.  Generally you switch goalies at half-time anyways so two kids can share the position.  Except the coach never put Caelyn in as goalie.  Okay.  We are team players.  I let the assistant coach know I wasn't too happy about it and I told Caelyn to let the coach know she wanted to play goalie sometimes.

The thing is that the coach's daughter wasn't as good as Caelyn in goal, but she was a little snot.  She told Caelyn that she was an All-Star player and could play several different positions.  She was okay in several positions and was a pretty good goalie, but still.  I heard her yell at another kid in practice for not kicking the ball straight at her.  By the end of the season, Caelyn's confidence was shot.  This coach did not appreciate her and he made her feel badly about herself.  Asshole.

Caelyn usually plays indoor soccer in the winter so we found her a new team to play on for the indoor season.  She was happier and had fun.  Indoor soccer is just for fun - there are no practices, just a game once a week.  The problem was that the team sucked!  I think the lost all the games but one or two.  Luckily they made a better Spring team and they actually had an undefeated season in the Spring!  Caelyn was the starting goalie.  She played in various defensive positions for half of the games.  And the put her on the tournament team for Memorial Day.

The first tournament game ended in a tie which means they have a shoot out to determine the winner.  A shoot out is where they line the kids up and they get five penalty shots directly at the goal with only the goalie to stop them.  Caelyn was the goalie for the shoot out and she even got to take a shot on the opposing team's goalie (which she made).  Needless to say, she won the shoot out by stopping more shots AND by kicking one in on the other team too!  They won two of their games and lost two.  I think they finished 5 of the 7 teams in the tournament, but it was a redemption of sorts! 

I can't believe I care this much about 5th grade soccer...Actually what I really care about is my daughter and her happiness and that assholes don't hurt her.     

I remember an episode of Seinfeld where one of the characters - Elaine, I think - describes an issue she's having with a neighbor.  At first they were friendly and they'd say hello when they passed in the halls and maybe stop for a chat.  As time passed, they only smiled and nodded.  After more time, the smiles stop, the nods stop until finally they are glaring at each other when they pass.  It is like they hate each other, but there's no reason for the animosity.

That's how it has become for me and this blog.

I used to write almost daily.  I looked forward to writing and checking in with all of you.  Then my posts became less frequent.  I had less to say about weight loss and my Lap-band.  But I'd still stop in and smile and nod from time to time.  But somehow I started actively avoiding my blog and I don't really know why.

True, I lost all my weight and got to goal.  In fact I lost another 15 lbs. after I hit goal.  Also true that I regained some weight over the holidays and have spent the last six months losing a bit and then regaining.  I'm still under goal, but I'm about 10 lbs. from where I was and it is frustrating.  Some of my clothes are tighter than I'd like them to be. 

I have found myself going back to what I used to do: dieting.  And then I realized what I was doing and I quit it and I lost several lbs.  I felt good and was confident that I'd be back at my previous weight.  And then I had about three weeks of not-so-great eating.  And my weight didn't just creep up.  It SHOT up!  Now I'm back where I was in January when I started trying to lose the holiday weight.

Fuck.

I've been eating well for several days.  I know what works.  I need to eat three meals a day with only planned snacks in between.  I can't "go on a diet" or my brain freaks out and I start binging and starving. 

I had a good long time where weight loss was easy.  I also enjoyed several months of easy maintenance.  If I slipped up, it didn't seem to be noted on the scale.  Not the case these days.

Fuck.