Maintenance is kind of a weird thing, but in a good way. I have weighed about the same weight (+/- a couple lbs.) for several months. I've considered myself at goal since December, but I've lost 14 lbs. since then so I'm not sure that really counts.
I suspect this is the longest period in my life in which I've been at the same weight. Always before I was gaining or losing. I stayed within a range of about 40 lbs. (between 119 and 155 or so) for most of my life. But from month-to-month and year-to-year, I was up and down. I still looked "normal". I wasn't overweight, at least not until I hit my 30's when I really started gaining weight. Then I put on 100+ lbs. in seven years. Some of it through pregnancy, but most of it through just throwing up my hands and giving up.
So it is really strange to see the same numbers month after month. At first, it frustrated me because I'd still like to lose another five lbs. or so, but I am pretty sure that wouldn't make much difference and it isn't going to happen without a bunch of effort I don't really want to put in SO I have learned to be okay with where I'm at. More than okay, very pleased to see that my eating plan and lifestyle or working for me.
I haven't been logging my food for a while so it is also nice to see that I am not deluding myself into thinking I am eating okay when I'm actually gaining. I put on 70 lbs. that way so I'm glad my Lap-band combined with my efforts really seem to be keeping me right where I want to be! I have spent several weekends out of town lately, either camping or staying in hotels and eating out, but I'm still holding steady. I feel really free!
Thank you guys for all your nice responses to my Arglefark post yesterday. I appreciate knowing I have you guys around to commiserate with me!
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Arglefark!
Not sure what that title means...It is the sound that expresses my frustration best right now, I guess.
Why am I frustrated, you ask? Maybe this is going to call for bullets.
Why am I frustrated, you ask? Maybe this is going to call for bullets.
- I am a property manager which means that I have a job that requires that I be somewhat involved in a very intimate part of everyone's life: where they live. This means that I hear way more than I want to hear about what goes on behind closed doors. Having money problems? I know about it. Your neighbor has sex too loud? Better tell the landlady. Come by the office and I've stepped out for a minute? Better phone the office and leave a five minute complaint message about how you came by to pay your rent (18 days late) and no one was there (this happened yesterday) and how dare I put a default notice on your door and then not be there when you come in to pay? Reserve your student apartment in June and then break up with your boyfriend/roommate? Better have your mom call and complain about you not getting the security deposit back when you breached the contract. Tracked cherry stains all over your carpet? Better tell the landlady that you shouldn't be held responsible for it since the carpet was three years old.
- I'm taking a vacation in a couple of weeks and I have a budget of about $850. Why does the idea of taking my kids and boyfriend somewhere sound more like torture than relaxation? I don't want to hear the bickering, the arguments, the constant drain on MOM. Why am I the only person capable of doing practically anything? I am so overwhelmed. I love my family, but I am so tired of the arguments. I feel like I am living with a house full of starving puppies, with each of them trying to get as much of the food for themselves as they possibly can. I guess in that analogy, I'm the puppy chow.
- One of my nephew is a heroin addict, another is in a juvenile detention center, a third one has a stripper girlfriend and they drink every night.
- My mom wrecked her car yesterday. She wasn't hurt, but the accident was her fault. She is very broke and not in a good situation to cope with this extra stress. She has insurance with a $500 deductible. Part of me feels like I should give her my vacation money. That might solve two problems.
- I have been working 9-10 hour days for a week and a half. I wish I had more paid time off. And health insurance.
- The spell check DOES NOT like the word arglefark.
- I saw the new Harry Potter movie on Friday and I thought it was an excellent movie BUT it really bothers me that it deviated from the book in what I feel were fairly significant ways. Also now that the series is done, it is done. Over. Finite. No more movies. No more books. Nothing to look forward to.
- It has been raining. In July. Grey, cloudy skies. The whole country is having a heat wave and we're having a throwback to March weather.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Exercise or EXCUSEercise?
I'm a walker and a cyclist. Every morning I walk my dog, Brody. We go for about 30 minutes at a park near my house. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I bike to work (7 miles round trip). On the weekends and in the evenings I often take another walk or ride my bike. I do it because it feels good and I want to. I never have to force myself to do it.
Now working out in a gym? That's another story. I've done it before, but right now I don't have the extra time or money for gym work outs.
Do you know what? It doesn't really matter what sort of activity I chose to do as long as I do it on a regular basis! I might have more muscle definition if I lifted weights or worked out in a gym, but from a health-benefit perspective, it is the doing that makes the difference rather than the activity!
So what do you ENJOY? Are you a runner? A walker? A swimmer? A dancer?
Are you trying to force yourself to do an exercise that you hate because you think you should? I read a lot of posts from people who talk about how they haven't exercised in ages because they don't have time or they have to get up at 2:00 AM or because they worry about what people think of them when they work out. I always wonder why they're trying to force themselves to do something that they don't want to do. Wouldn't it be better to do something you DO enjoy on a regular basis?
I think too often we select an exercise routine that we used to follow back when we were previously thin, but we often didn't have the same obligations then. We might have had more free time because we were in college or didn't have kids, spouses, mortgages, etc. But despite the evidence that it isn't realistic to attempt to embark on this routine, they pledge to do it four days a week, are unable to follow through, feel bad about it and do no form of exercise instead. They set themselves up for failure. And each week they pledge to start again, not recognizing that it isn't the right exercise for them.
So is your routine an exercise in excuse-making or is it the right activity for you? Only you can answer that, but if you are having to force yourself to do it and are constantly skipping because you can't quite squeeze it in, then maybe it is time to pick a different exercise routine. Maybe Nike had it right with the Just Do It slogan because the most important part of exercise is making it a regular part of your routine.
Now working out in a gym? That's another story. I've done it before, but right now I don't have the extra time or money for gym work outs.
Do you know what? It doesn't really matter what sort of activity I chose to do as long as I do it on a regular basis! I might have more muscle definition if I lifted weights or worked out in a gym, but from a health-benefit perspective, it is the doing that makes the difference rather than the activity!
So what do you ENJOY? Are you a runner? A walker? A swimmer? A dancer?
Are you trying to force yourself to do an exercise that you hate because you think you should? I read a lot of posts from people who talk about how they haven't exercised in ages because they don't have time or they have to get up at 2:00 AM or because they worry about what people think of them when they work out. I always wonder why they're trying to force themselves to do something that they don't want to do. Wouldn't it be better to do something you DO enjoy on a regular basis?
I think too often we select an exercise routine that we used to follow back when we were previously thin, but we often didn't have the same obligations then. We might have had more free time because we were in college or didn't have kids, spouses, mortgages, etc. But despite the evidence that it isn't realistic to attempt to embark on this routine, they pledge to do it four days a week, are unable to follow through, feel bad about it and do no form of exercise instead. They set themselves up for failure. And each week they pledge to start again, not recognizing that it isn't the right exercise for them.
So is your routine an exercise in excuse-making or is it the right activity for you? Only you can answer that, but if you are having to force yourself to do it and are constantly skipping because you can't quite squeeze it in, then maybe it is time to pick a different exercise routine. Maybe Nike had it right with the Just Do It slogan because the most important part of exercise is making it a regular part of your routine.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The 100 calorie principal
A few months ago I read a great post and I wish I could remember who wrote it so I could credit it here. It was a thought provoking discussion on how easy it is to become overweight and obese. Basically the blogger explained that a person must consume an extra 3,500 calories above and beyond what their body needs to gain a pound. To gain one pound in a month, that works out to just over 100 calories a day (116.6 to be precise).
This has really stuck with me. I have started calling it the 100 calorie principal.
Think about it...If you gained a pound a month for a year, you'd be 12 pounds overweight. In five years, you'd be 60 lbs. overweight and possibly obese depending on your height. In a decade you'd be more than 100 lbs. overweight.
All this from just an extra 116.6 calories per day. As women we probably need 1,500 - 1,800 calories per day, depending on our activity level. That means that 1,616.6 to 1,916.6 calories per day could be a weight-gaining diet that would put us on track to obesity in less than ten years. That's less than three extra café mochas per week. Or an extra regular soda and a regular McDonald's cheeseburger per week. An extra 116.6 calories per day is NOTHING, really.
For many people simply getting older and the associated metabolism slow-down is all it takes. They eat the way they've always eaten, but find what used to be a weight-maintenance diet is now a weight-gaining diet. Or an injury may cause them to become less active than they've been in the past and they do not adjust their caloric intake accordingly.
The 100 calorie principal.
I find this significant because it demonstrates just how easy it can be to end up overweight and obese. Society assumes that fat people are gluttons, but would anyone consider it gluttony to have a couple of coffee drinks every week?
I didn't become fat stuffing my face with crap all the time. I actually ate pretty healthfully, but I ate too much. Both of my pregnancies left me about 40 lbs. overweight and the rest crept on over a few years. Yes, I did sometimes eat food that wasn't especially nutritious, but everybody does that at times.
It is easy to become overweight and obese. People need to understand that. The stigma associated with obesity doesn't help anyone and hurts all of us, fat or thin.
This has really stuck with me. I have started calling it the 100 calorie principal.
Think about it...If you gained a pound a month for a year, you'd be 12 pounds overweight. In five years, you'd be 60 lbs. overweight and possibly obese depending on your height. In a decade you'd be more than 100 lbs. overweight.
All this from just an extra 116.6 calories per day. As women we probably need 1,500 - 1,800 calories per day, depending on our activity level. That means that 1,616.6 to 1,916.6 calories per day could be a weight-gaining diet that would put us on track to obesity in less than ten years. That's less than three extra café mochas per week. Or an extra regular soda and a regular McDonald's cheeseburger per week. An extra 116.6 calories per day is NOTHING, really.
For many people simply getting older and the associated metabolism slow-down is all it takes. They eat the way they've always eaten, but find what used to be a weight-maintenance diet is now a weight-gaining diet. Or an injury may cause them to become less active than they've been in the past and they do not adjust their caloric intake accordingly.
The 100 calorie principal.
I find this significant because it demonstrates just how easy it can be to end up overweight and obese. Society assumes that fat people are gluttons, but would anyone consider it gluttony to have a couple of coffee drinks every week?
I didn't become fat stuffing my face with crap all the time. I actually ate pretty healthfully, but I ate too much. Both of my pregnancies left me about 40 lbs. overweight and the rest crept on over a few years. Yes, I did sometimes eat food that wasn't especially nutritious, but everybody does that at times.
It is easy to become overweight and obese. People need to understand that. The stigma associated with obesity doesn't help anyone and hurts all of us, fat or thin.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Perfect restriction...for me
I read a post be the wonderful Amy W. yesterday about the elusive green zone. We talk a great deal about restriction here in Bandland. We've even heard that we shouldn't worry about restriction because that isn't what makes the band so effective. Despite that, for most of us the idea of restriction is a critical part of our understanding of the band. We want good restriction. We bemoan being too loose. We worry we'll never hit the sweet spot. We fret when we must have an unfill for some reason.
Let me tell you a secret: I have .7 ccs (point seven as in 7/10th of one ml.)in my band. Shhh....don't tell anyone. And guess what else: I'm perfect ally fine with it. How can that be? Doesn't that mean that I can eat bread and pasta and rice and pizza? Yes, I can eat all of those things. I can also take moderately big bites and I don't have to chew everything to the consistency of baby spit. I don't eat so slowly that the people I'm eating with are ready for their next meal by the time I finish my first one.
To be honest, I feel a little ashamed to admit these things. Not because they are shameful, but because I know that technically speaking that isn't exactly how the band is designed to work. I've heard people say that their surgeon's office tells them that they will never eat bread, rice, or pasta again. I've read many blogs where the writer is planning a fill BECAUSE they ate two pieces of pizza or they were able to eat a piece of bread.
I don't offer this information to suggest that my way is the best way. I just want to put it out there that there are different ways of viewing restriction. What I consider good restriction, you might consider bandster hell, but it works for me.
I think it comes down to eating behavior. I need my band to help me keep my portion sizes in check and that's what it does for me. Pre-band I would sit down to a meal with a full plate, clear it and get another plateful. I would happily munch away on several pieces of bread with my meal. At a restaurant I'd have a salad, bread, the entire entree, (diet) soda and possibly dessert. My meals were not necessarily made up of unhealthy foods, but they were definitely much too big. I didn't stop eating when I was physically full. Eating between meals wasn't really my problem. I didn't graze or snack all that much and I still don't. With the Lap-band, I cannot eat the same quantity of food. I physically cannot do it. I do not need the band to restrict the types of food that I eat. I do not believe that any foods need to be off-limits because I can't handle them. I do not believe in "good" or "bad" foods.
So that is what perfect restriction means for me. What is perfect restriction for you?
Let me tell you a secret: I have .7 ccs (point seven as in 7/10th of one ml.)in my band. Shhh....don't tell anyone. And guess what else: I'm perfect ally fine with it. How can that be? Doesn't that mean that I can eat bread and pasta and rice and pizza? Yes, I can eat all of those things. I can also take moderately big bites and I don't have to chew everything to the consistency of baby spit. I don't eat so slowly that the people I'm eating with are ready for their next meal by the time I finish my first one.
To be honest, I feel a little ashamed to admit these things. Not because they are shameful, but because I know that technically speaking that isn't exactly how the band is designed to work. I've heard people say that their surgeon's office tells them that they will never eat bread, rice, or pasta again. I've read many blogs where the writer is planning a fill BECAUSE they ate two pieces of pizza or they were able to eat a piece of bread.
I don't offer this information to suggest that my way is the best way. I just want to put it out there that there are different ways of viewing restriction. What I consider good restriction, you might consider bandster hell, but it works for me.
I think it comes down to eating behavior. I need my band to help me keep my portion sizes in check and that's what it does for me. Pre-band I would sit down to a meal with a full plate, clear it and get another plateful. I would happily munch away on several pieces of bread with my meal. At a restaurant I'd have a salad, bread, the entire entree, (diet) soda and possibly dessert. My meals were not necessarily made up of unhealthy foods, but they were definitely much too big. I didn't stop eating when I was physically full. Eating between meals wasn't really my problem. I didn't graze or snack all that much and I still don't. With the Lap-band, I cannot eat the same quantity of food. I physically cannot do it. I do not need the band to restrict the types of food that I eat. I do not believe that any foods need to be off-limits because I can't handle them. I do not believe in "good" or "bad" foods.
So that is what perfect restriction means for me. What is perfect restriction for you?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
New Follower
I hope you'll join me in checking out a (relatively) new blog. Robyn was banded in May and she's doing fantastically! She also very sweetly nominated me for an award. Thanks Robyn!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
It's all in my head
Maybe crazy is too strong a word. I realized that my food/scale/weight obsession is still alive and well, despite losing 114+ lbs. in 17 months. Allow me to explain.
Last month I was rocking it. I was logging my food using My Fitness Pal. I lost four pounds over a month, which at this stage in the game is pretty amazing! I saw my lowest low, 165.6 (2.6 lbs. from a "normal" BMI, but who's counting?). And then one day, I stepped on the scale and I was up almost two pounds. WTF? My food and exercise had been spot-on. There was NO reason for the gain. Now this sort of thing is not completely unprecedented in my world so I told myself not to freak out. I kept logging and weighed again the following week. I was right about the same even though I did major physical activity one weekend when we re-roofed my house. Whatever.
I didn't freak out, although I wanted to. But I did feel my enthusiasm slip a bit. I stopped logging my food in My Fitness Pal. This isn't the end of the world for me. I consider logging to be optional at this point. I do it when I want to and I don't when I don't. My girls and I went away for the weekend and we ate out. I didn't go overboard, but I also wasn't super careful. When we came back I noticed I was feeling "weird" about the scale. My weigh-day came and I didn't get on. I was afraid that I would be up from all the restaurant meals. I kept thinking I'd weigh the next day. Then I had popcorn and I never weigh myself the day after eating popcorn. Then it was my BIL's birthday and I didn't want to weigh myself after eating cake. Then I went clothes shopping and I bought some cute new clothes, but one of the pairs of pants I bought without trying them on first didn't fit.
In my mind, I'd gained 100 lbs. I kept looking at my stomach and thinking I saw bulges where they hadn't been before. I felt fat. I was sure I'd gained, but too afraid to get on the scale. I wasn't eating badly. I tallied my calories most days and they were fine. Why wasn't I fine?
I got on the scale yesterday and I weighed 166.4. Not my lowest-low, but less than my last weigh in. Which make me wonder what the hell is wrong with my brain? Why can't I get over all this?
I have gone years without weighing myself because of this same scale phobia. Since WLS, however, I've weighed myself pretty consistently. I know I can't weigh more often than once a week, but I've generally wanted to weigh myself when weigh-day roles around. I felt pretty good about my progress up until this point. I felt much less obsessed with food and weight and the scale. I guess this is just a good reminder that I'm always going to have to work at this. I have made a lot of progress, amazing life-changing progress, but I am still the same person with the same struggles and demons that I've always had.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)