You don't have to answer that. I've been thinking about having an affair. I don't really have anyone in mind. I'm just very lonely.
My feelings for my current fella (of 16 years) are mainly resentment, to be honest. I don't have a lot of respect for him. Mainly the source of these feelings is his long-term unemployment. I divorced him over it back in 2006, but he manipulated me into letting him stay with me by telling me he was dyeing of cancer. I didn't really believe him, but a part of me was afraid it was true.
9 years later, I have no one to blame but myself for allowing things to go on so long, but since he has no source of income, I don't know how to separate myself from him. I can't force him to leave and he won't go voluntarily. I don't want him to have to pitch a tent and live in the park, but I also don't want to continue being miserable for the rest of my (or his) life.
Mostly I just pretend it isn't how things are and I go about my life.
Intellectually I know having an affair won't really change things, except maybe he would get the point. And maybe I wouldn't be so lonely.