I gained

I'm up .4 lbs. (.18 kg.) this morning.  This is not my first gain, but it is the first one I've honestly deserved.  I mainly attribute it to the Easter candy and to eating three meals in a restaurant.  I'm not too upset about it.

Actually the knowledge that I've lived the last 15 months of my life without a bunch of binges and overeating incidents is pretty amazing.  I have certainly had times here and there where I ate things I didn't plan to eat or I've eaten (even overeaten) food in a  compulsive manner, but overall I feel like I have changed my lifestyle to one where food plays a more normal role.  That feels pretty good! 

More than just generally being "good" around food, I think it is the fact that I follow a very realistic plan.  I eat all foods in moderation.  I try to eat "real" food instead of chemically modified sugar-free, fat-free foods.  Nothing is off-limits.  I eat pizza, bread, pasta, rice, dessert, whatever I want.  I don't believe there is any such thing as "good" foods and "bad" foods and I don't think that eating a food that is less than nutritious makes a person "good" or "bad". 

I'd even go so far as to say that when we judge ourselves in that way, we actually set ourselves up for failure and make it more difficult to stop the cycle of overeating, even when we really want to.  We feel badly about ourselves because of our food choices, so we eat and then we feel worse and continue eating.  Unrealistic goals are a part of this too.  We vow to eat below a certain calorie number or exercise so many times or only do liquids or whatever and then when that doesn't work out, we may end up binging.  I remember this cycle all too well from my pre-op days.  I was always disappointed in myself or angry with myself for my food choices.  I didn't understand that NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT almost never brings about permanent change.  It was only by learning to be kind to myself and be realistic about what I was going to eat that I could end the cycle.

And even though I gained, it wasn't because I was compulsively eating the entire week.  I ate three restaurant meals in 24 hours.  I ate rich foods that I don't normally eat.  I didn't eat as much protein as I need.  I still followed my basic plan of eating small quantities.  I stopped when I'd had enough.  Other than the run-ins with the Easter candy, I think I did a pretty good job.  And the Easter candy part was a learning experience.  I'm not ashamed of it.  I hope I'll do better the next time I'm in a situation like that.  I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

I'm curious how you deal with set-backs?  Also how has your relationship with food changed?