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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I gained

I'm up .4 lbs. (.18 kg.) this morning.  This is not my first gain, but it is the first one I've honestly deserved.  I mainly attribute it to the Easter candy and to eating three meals in a restaurant.  I'm not too upset about it.

Actually the knowledge that I've lived the last 15 months of my life without a bunch of binges and overeating incidents is pretty amazing.  I have certainly had times here and there where I ate things I didn't plan to eat or I've eaten (even overeaten) food in a  compulsive manner, but overall I feel like I have changed my lifestyle to one where food plays a more normal role.  That feels pretty good! 

More than just generally being "good" around food, I think it is the fact that I follow a very realistic plan.  I eat all foods in moderation.  I try to eat "real" food instead of chemically modified sugar-free, fat-free foods.  Nothing is off-limits.  I eat pizza, bread, pasta, rice, dessert, whatever I want.  I don't believe there is any such thing as "good" foods and "bad" foods and I don't think that eating a food that is less than nutritious makes a person "good" or "bad". 

I'd even go so far as to say that when we judge ourselves in that way, we actually set ourselves up for failure and make it more difficult to stop the cycle of overeating, even when we really want to.  We feel badly about ourselves because of our food choices, so we eat and then we feel worse and continue eating.  Unrealistic goals are a part of this too.  We vow to eat below a certain calorie number or exercise so many times or only do liquids or whatever and then when that doesn't work out, we may end up binging.  I remember this cycle all too well from my pre-op days.  I was always disappointed in myself or angry with myself for my food choices.  I didn't understand that NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT almost never brings about permanent change.  It was only by learning to be kind to myself and be realistic about what I was going to eat that I could end the cycle.

And even though I gained, it wasn't because I was compulsively eating the entire week.  I ate three restaurant meals in 24 hours.  I ate rich foods that I don't normally eat.  I didn't eat as much protein as I need.  I still followed my basic plan of eating small quantities.  I stopped when I'd had enough.  Other than the run-ins with the Easter candy, I think I did a pretty good job.  And the Easter candy part was a learning experience.  I'm not ashamed of it.  I hope I'll do better the next time I'm in a situation like that.  I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

I'm curious how you deal with set-backs?  Also how has your relationship with food changed? 


Leslie said...

I don't deal with setbacks well at all. I get so discouraged and feel so awful and "bad" that I just keep sabotaging myself.

I have to get better about that. I feel like my relationship with food is still a work in progress. I have made strides in my emotional eating and portion control but I have lots of work to still do.

Cat's Chic Chat said...

I love all the blogs I read. However yours really is at the very top. : )

This really hits home for me. I'm likely even going to post on my blog about this topic, but I realize that only 6 weeks in and no fill yet that my relationship with food is already changing. I'm not afraid to go to a resturant because I know that I will eat a healthy and reasonable portion.

While I'm sorry about your .4 gain, You know that you are doing what's best for you and your food relationship and I would bet that eating more normally, less rich resturant food is going to see that .4 come back off before long. Thank you for being an inspiring and truly awesome blogger!

Silverhairedgoddess said...

Well, I did eat more Easter candy than I should have but when I think of what I use to eat "pre Band" I'm not too upset about it.

I agree with you that the best thing we can do is not to beat ourselves up!

MandaPanda said...

My relationship with food is definitely changing. I'm not at a completely serene place with it yet but I'm getting there. Lately, when I have a setback, I try to step back and think of what caused it. If it's something I was kind of expecting (sounds like you were with the restaurant food and easter candy), I can be at peace with it because I recognize the problem and can modify the behavior to fix it. It's when I can't figure out why I did what I did (emotional eating) that I become frustrated.

Kiwigirl said...

This is a great post Amanda. I really like your balanced and realistic approach to food. It's clearly why you are so successful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Amanda said...

Great post.

I am a pretty laid back gal. In some ways that is probably why I became over weight. Set backs damage me form short periods of time but I can always pin point the issue and move on. I do calorie count but in eat almost anything I want.but I am also only 4.5 months my set backs aren't that many yet. In 2 years I'll be interested to see where my mind sits!

Darlin1 said...

I'm pretty much with you.....on your eating restrictions.......I have none!

Thanks for you comments on my post.....I am on my way to buy some Previcid. Wish me luck!

Oh by the way, I can't believe I wasn't a follower of yours ...I must of always followed you because of others' posts. WEIRD!


Gen said...

Awesome post. I totally agree with you on the freedom from compulsive eating AND from "good food/bad food" syndrome.

I don't even pay any attention to the point whatever on the scale - since I can go up and down by 2 or 3 pounds in a day for no reason at all, I just pay attention to the first 3 numbers. So don't feel bad about the .4, that is nothing!

Lady Lap Band said...

I've been the same way....up down up down I am stuck from like 169-170 and I'm going crazy! I ate a little too much easter candy too!